Insight on Retrospect
May. 10th, 2021 12:07 pmCandace messaged me in the morning to reschedule for the afternoon. No problem for me, especially given the day I had. I let the Team know I'd proposed, but didn't get much more than my work done. I had my meeting with Candace (and Julian) over the phone at 5. Lady Miss Friday was on my bed, so we had the session in the living room. I talked about my plan to marry Julian (Tim asked me to), and she cautioned that it was a swift about-face for me. I'd previously worried that Julian saw getting back together and moving back to San Diego as some sort of Magic Finish Line. There's likely some of that mixed in subconsciously, but I don't feel that. I think I could tell him tomorrow I was just going to move out there, and he'd be okay. Not happy, because he hates it there, but okay. Also, I fully admit it's very, very suspect to marry someone who was abusive. I haven't caught any scent of that, and I'm a prey creature. Venomous, but prey nonetheless. I think a lot of *us probably are. Anyway, I'm constantly on guard. So he's either changed or he's Keyser Söze. I also set some boundaries with friends. A lot of people very understandably do not like him. But he's changed, as above, and I won't be put on another battlefield. Rachel came over to celebrate the engagement and we went to Plumeria. Her enthusiasm is contagious, and calmed many of my nerves.