(no subject)

[thepnutgallery]

Anthony and I had a looooooooooooooooonnnnnngggg talk tuesday night following my relatively simple question "What're you doing tonight?", but without the usual answer of a finger pointed in my direction. We talked about a lot of things that we always cover, but one significant thing that we uncovered is that I felt very underappreciated in our relationship. I gave a lot, and continue to give, and have never asked for anything. I gave enough of myself that my motives should never be questioned. This came about because of my continual indignation when people suggest that I am using or manipulating the Boy, or that my motives are anything less than pure in dealing with him. Other people don't know the specifics of our situation, but he does, and people keep suggesting these things, so how vehemently can he be denying them?

Comments

[lizetta.livejournal.com]

Motives, intent, and results are often not the same things.

[thepnutgallery]

Fair enough, and people are free to criticize me for those results (A freedom I'm aware that folks take full advantage of). I just don't want my motives/intent questioned.

[lizetta.livejournal.com]

I don't know how anyone could seriously questions motives, they are one of the most complicated facets of human behavior. I don't pretend to fully understand my own, much less make conclusions about someone elses. I do it, of course, as I am human, but I aknowledge that it is flawed.

I'm sure that some/many of the people who are offering these criticisms and suggestions are doing so from a place of disliking you. But I'm equally sure that many/some of those comments are coming from a place of love, love for both of you. That doesn't make it right, but please try to understand that if someone oversteps a boundary, the intention might be good, just the result is not.