If you're here, you could be there.

Even before my addiction, I was a not great employee. A bulk of our work was essentially just data entry, and often repetitive data entry. And of course all my various issues insisting the standard for acceptable was "effortlessly flawless," both due to my dad's whispers and my insecurity at being licensed but clueless. In fairness to me, we had to enter the same information in 3 different sub-pages on the main page for every document we processed, so I was not exaggerating when I said it was repetitive. Obviously, things have changed, both for me and with our work processes. It's really strange to improve at something and then almost perceive the ghost of you fail in the other timelines. I'm not crazy, I swear. Well, mostly. I made sure to jump up and check my connection and make sure to let them know via Teams before my shift started. It took a few hours, and it was actually a fairly fortuitous time to be kicked off. The weather could have been predicted by Sarah Cooper: Everything's Fine. I thought for sure I'd see a car fly at some point or the water starting to rise outside my window. Lady Miss Friday, of course, threw a fit. She eventually told me to lay on the bed, then burrowed under me until I finally just put us under the blankets. She was, like a year ago, cuddled up against my leg. When she got up, I focused again on getting a burner computer.

Ultimately, I really just grabbed my work off the remote computer and worked on my desktop. The temp one had a wonky browser and would freeze up if I tried to open my email. I had my session with Candace. I had no idea what to use as a subject, though I sketched out some vague ideas, and I was terrified of coming to class unprepared. Where the fuck was this work ethic when I was younger? And why the fuck couldn't I have asked for a work-at-your-own-pace thing so I didn't get bored? The latter was actually because my inner pedant said that if it was really that I wanted to go faster, it should be no trouble for me to go at this pace, just like running. I lucked out and she led. I mentioned that oddity with booze, where out of sight meant out of mind, and I realized the level of desperation on my quest has decreased severely. I tried to call Mig, but they're East Coast time, so they were closed. No rush.