CD4 543, VL 37,131

[thepnutgallery]

Monday - Had another dream, but this one wasn't terribly weird. I dreamed it was the first day of class, and we were being tested on the faces/names/legal significance of the faces of some porn stars from Chaos Men, and I hadn't done my homework. Anyway, I got up at a reasonable hour, putzed away my day before heading over to my dr.'s office. I'd apparently also had a dr.'s appt that morning, but no one told me about it, so I couldn't really have gone. My weight is back up to 151, my CD4 is holding strong at 543, but my viral load is up to 37,171. I had really hoped that the 23k I got last time had been a temporary spike. Also, I have the very lowest level of pre-cancer or something. It's not something to worry about, just something to monitor. Headed home and waited for Ken. He'd sent an e-mail to Brandon talking about food and games for the evening, but not received one when he got home. He said he'd keep me posted, and I headed off to my therapy appointment, which went well except for a couple of awkward pauses, and then home. Ken wasn't there when I got there, so I figured he was over at Justin's. Popped over there to find him not there, either, though Justin was, and told me that he'd just gone to get Viva Pasta. Swell. Thanks for keeping me in the loop on the plans for the evening. In retrospect, I don't really even know why I got so upset, but boy did I! I almost went for TJ's Soy Nuggets, or sammich fixins or something, but I just sat stewing in my car for a few minutes until he got home. He was taken aback that I was upset, but still went over to Justin's and watched a movie. I chatted on A4A, updated LJ, and had just made a pot of pasta when Ken came home. I asked him how the movie was, and he just said "Fine.", and turned on the TV in the living room. He came back in a few moments later, but neither of us said anything. Finally, he came back in a few minutes after that and started a dialog. He had thought he'd be home before me, and didn't want to interrupt my therapy session, which is why he didn't leave a note or send a text or similar. Really, in retrospect, the fact that he didn't let me know was just shocking. The real upset for me had been that I was planning on doing something with him (food & games?) for the evening, and Brandon or anyone else was incidental. For him, Brandon was the essential part, and without him, we went our separate ways. If I'd had a little more notice, if say, his e-mail during the day had said he'd sent Brandon an e-mail, but if Brandon didn't get back to him he was just going to watch a movie at Justin's, I'd have been fine. We played Sleeping Queens, each had a drink, and watched some Olympics. A wonderful night.
I didn't imagine we'd be doing anything, but I got ready and showered all the same. A few minutes after we laid down, we ended up having sex. me on my side, him missionary. I'm not sure what I did in that position, but it was definitely the right thing, because he came rather suddenly. It took me a little longer, especially since I'd beat off earlier that day, but I got there. I thought I'd just had a really amazing shot, and it was, but about half of it was my usual Elmer's glue, and the other half (ironically the half that didn't shoot as far), was made up of about half semen and half blood. Not discolored, not just dark semen, but blood. I freaked out a little, even though I'd already looked it up, and read that it was no big deal. I probably shouldn't have shown Ken, because now he wants to give it a rest. Ah, well.