My Subconscious Helps Out

[thepnutgallery]

Friday - Needless to say, I didn't sleep terribly well on Thursday night. I did, however have a very intriguing dream. Something about me, Ken, Brandon, Chris, and either Ashely or Nikki participating in a VR type of game. Very Double-Dragon, beat up baddies, but do it on the sly, since there are so many more of them than us, to save an adolescent elephant. I beat the living tar out of tons of them, but we still didn't win. Justin Kelevant (who was the mob boss) was talking about his win as I walked by, and I thought about shooting the thing he'd constructed, some kind of elaborate glass and gold structure, but felt that was pointless. Afterwards, we were walking back to the car in underground parking, and I was feeling very very down about having failed. Brandon was trying to console me, when I suddenly felt our elephant friend's trunk tap me on the shoulder. Had an emotional breakdown with him, which was sorely needed. A more religious sort might suggest that a guardian elephant was visiting me in my dreams. I think my subconscious just recognized that I was in need of some release.
Ken kissed me goodbye when he left in the morning, and I went back to sleep for a while longer. I drove over to the bridge, and then walked my student loan papers over to Postal Palace, where the lady was rude enough to me that I walked them instead over to the post office. Cheaper anyway. Also got some Equal from Ralphs, and almost bought some Soy Ice cream from TJ's, but decided against it. Also thought about getting some oatmeal from Whoel Foods, but I've only spent about $20 on food this month so far (including the $12 tub of protein powder I got from TJ's), and don't want to mess that up. When I got back, I tried to study a little, poked about online, iced my ankle. Ken e-mailed around 2:30, saying he'd been in a funk all day, and that Matthew had texted him about maybe board games, and that he loved me. Didn't do much other than that. I napped around 3:30, and Ken came home a little early. Things were a little awkward, but not uncomfortable. We picked up Sansai for him for dinner, and I had a protein shake when we got back. Roommate Anthony had also come home and delivered the mail. I got my official letter of declination from Aetna.
Being positive was only part of the reason I was declined. I also didn't go for my 4-week follow up from my last appointment (which no one told me about), because my RBC and hematocrit are low and my bilirubin level is high. I didn't even know these things. I'm going to see about switching over to the Owen's clinic.
Over at Matt's, I figured there would be snacky things at Matt's, and there were, but having just had the two protein shakes and a carrot for the day, I didn't feel bad about munching. We mostly chatted for a while, had a couple drinks. Ken spun music for a bit, and then we played poker. It came down to me and Ken, and I won! Go me. I thought sex might possibly be on the table, but no such luck. It's been over two weeks now, and I'm not really sure what to do, except keep sleeping with other people.