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thepnutgalleryWoke around 2. Robert went to the event after all last night, saw Scott and Keith. I reflected back on my time with Scott, Jack, Dale, and all those ripples, gave what advice I could. I heard Julian sniffling. He saw I changed my relationship status, had texted epithets and threatened that I have to pay for his hypothetical new place. I thought more about the joint dissolution, about his inclinations and lashing out. Kept thinking I need Real Attorneys to represent me here. I eventually managed to sleep a little more, got up a little after 7, and heard Jizzles crying for breakfast. I thought Julian would have already fed them and been at work, but he was still on the bed when I opened the door. I fed the cats, he went to work a couple minutes late. He thanked me for feeding the kids, and it's always so strange to have that consideration juxtaposed with last night's phrases, sick with lack of basis, still writhing on my phone.
Even though I'm trying to save money right now, I walked to the store. I was out of Splenda. I briefly thought about driving, but the calories, plus the need to DO something, persuaded me to walk. Plenty of time, and Lorde knows plenty to think about. I got Splenda, mustard, vanilla, coffee... I thought about getting something for my sweet tooth. On the one hand, I can find vegan cream cheese frosting for 50-70 cal/Tbsp, and since each slice of bread is 70, having 150 calories for a slice of "cake" is getting off easy. On the other, I have unopened vegan chocolates in my glove box, and since I'd gone this long putting off coping with food, a little longer always gets easier. Like any bad coping mechanism, I suppose. All moot, since I looked homeless and nearly had a confrontation with an employee because they thought I was stealing.
I thought I might eat some breakfast, buy sandals, etc, but took out the trash and recycling, cleaned up. I don't know. Lots of anxiety over everything, so might as well clean up. Both the house and myself. Vacuumed and such, but also mopped the tub and gave a little direction to my hair. Thought about the day and opted to wear the Sea Shepherd shirt Chip bought me. Apt for a vegan pop-up. I'm also trying to be more communicative, so I texted him to thank him and check in.
Tim arrived with Pupple around 11:30, we chatted briefly and left to pick up Colleen around noon. Picked her up, got her caught up on the recent developments, found Princess Parking, then helped another car parallel park. The pop-up was free, but they want us to promote it via social media. Easy enough. I didn't spend any money at all this past week with the express purpose of giving myself permission to spend, eat, and support the community today. I bought some carrot cake for Colleen, then we wandered inside. I really had no idea what to expect, and when I brought them around to see one of the artists that caught my eye, Colleen saw a painting of unicorns in the surf. That's a very, very clear subject for anyone who knows The Last Unicorn, and I lit up. The artist commented that he was moved, because Haggard's self-interest mirrors humanity's self interest. I'm only here for Lady Miss Friday, et all, so while I understand Haggard's position, that's where we split. There was a book I read a long time ago, where some demon made a fairy "dance" for guy or something, but he could tell they were being forced. Haggard puts his comfort over everyone else's well being . Colleen bought the painting for me, Tim bought a mushroom pizza, I ate like a normal human. When we finished at the Pop-up, I drove us to Twigg's and chattered about The Last Unicorn and vegan ethics with the baristas. A stranger is just a friend you haven't met!
Tim dropped Colleen off on his way home; Julian has talked about towing DoorDash cars and the like, and I'd just rather not find out if he'd tow Tim's. I kept thinking of buying him something from the Pop-up, and ended up buying a dessert bar with snagging a poem, though I didn't end up leaving the poem out because I wanted to read it first. Good thing, because it was a love letter. I don't really know Julian's love languages, but I know he's very big on getting equal attention, and figured the thought should placate him with the dessert bar.
Phyllis called in the evening. She saw the pics from today, but even as I heard her speaking over her wounds, she's happy. She was terrified that she'd wake one day to a call from Tim that I'd died, so if Colleen can be part of catching me, fantastic. She doesn't want me on her battlefield. I'm ecstatic that Colleen and Phyllis each let me love the other. Can't we all just get along? She commented that Lady Miss Friday is the love of my life currently, and that *we* have been through a great deal together. She's having some issues with Mike, though, because she's looking for work and Mike wants her to take care of him. That felt related to Haggard, et al, and that level of self-interest.
Even though I'm trying to save money right now, I walked to the store. I was out of Splenda. I briefly thought about driving, but the calories, plus the need to DO something, persuaded me to walk. Plenty of time, and Lorde knows plenty to think about. I got Splenda, mustard, vanilla, coffee... I thought about getting something for my sweet tooth. On the one hand, I can find vegan cream cheese frosting for 50-70 cal/Tbsp, and since each slice of bread is 70, having 150 calories for a slice of "cake" is getting off easy. On the other, I have unopened vegan chocolates in my glove box, and since I'd gone this long putting off coping with food, a little longer always gets easier. Like any bad coping mechanism, I suppose. All moot, since I looked homeless and nearly had a confrontation with an employee because they thought I was stealing.
I thought I might eat some breakfast, buy sandals, etc, but took out the trash and recycling, cleaned up. I don't know. Lots of anxiety over everything, so might as well clean up. Both the house and myself. Vacuumed and such, but also mopped the tub and gave a little direction to my hair. Thought about the day and opted to wear the Sea Shepherd shirt Chip bought me. Apt for a vegan pop-up. I'm also trying to be more communicative, so I texted him to thank him and check in.
Tim arrived with Pupple around 11:30, we chatted briefly and left to pick up Colleen around noon. Picked her up, got her caught up on the recent developments, found Princess Parking, then helped another car parallel park. The pop-up was free, but they want us to promote it via social media. Easy enough. I didn't spend any money at all this past week with the express purpose of giving myself permission to spend, eat, and support the community today. I bought some carrot cake for Colleen, then we wandered inside. I really had no idea what to expect, and when I brought them around to see one of the artists that caught my eye, Colleen saw a painting of unicorns in the surf. That's a very, very clear subject for anyone who knows The Last Unicorn, and I lit up. The artist commented that he was moved, because Haggard's self-interest mirrors humanity's self interest. I'm only here for Lady Miss Friday, et all, so while I understand Haggard's position, that's where we split. There was a book I read a long time ago, where some demon made a fairy "dance" for guy or something, but he could tell they were being forced. Haggard puts his comfort over everyone else's well being . Colleen bought the painting for me, Tim bought a mushroom pizza, I ate like a normal human. When we finished at the Pop-up, I drove us to Twigg's and chattered about The Last Unicorn and vegan ethics with the baristas. A stranger is just a friend you haven't met!
Tim dropped Colleen off on his way home; Julian has talked about towing DoorDash cars and the like, and I'd just rather not find out if he'd tow Tim's. I kept thinking of buying him something from the Pop-up, and ended up buying a dessert bar with snagging a poem, though I didn't end up leaving the poem out because I wanted to read it first. Good thing, because it was a love letter. I don't really know Julian's love languages, but I know he's very big on getting equal attention, and figured the thought should placate him with the dessert bar.
Phyllis called in the evening. She saw the pics from today, but even as I heard her speaking over her wounds, she's happy. She was terrified that she'd wake one day to a call from Tim that I'd died, so if Colleen can be part of catching me, fantastic. She doesn't want me on her battlefield. I'm ecstatic that Colleen and Phyllis each let me love the other. Can't we all just get along? She commented that Lady Miss Friday is the love of my life currently, and that *we* have been through a great deal together. She's having some issues with Mike, though, because she's looking for work and Mike wants her to take care of him. That felt related to Haggard, et al, and that level of self-interest.
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