Explosive Eggshells
Oct. 10th, 2021 08:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thepnutgalleryWasn't really sure of what to do for the day. Could have spent the day journaling, cleaning, researching to interview Tim, or any number of other projects , but Jen saved me by hitting me up for coffee, just like we talked about last night. She and Andi were staying at a hotel in Little Italy, so I was going to hop an Uber (fuck Lyft) down there, but they wanted to drop off Andi's car, so I walked over to Lestat's instead. I opted not to actually get any coffee, strictly because they're still charging extra for non-dairy options. Mocha Mix is cheap and keeps forever, there's no good reason whatsoever not to offer nondairy for free. Over coffee, Jen mentioned her frustration watching me in high school; obviously brilliant, just missing a piece of the puzzle to actually succeed. The whole school structure just never sat right with me, and I'd have done much better at my own pace. I also learned a great deal about John, Jen's ex boyfriend from those days. Apparently he was extremely controlling and emotionally abusive, and raped her once. Andi had some stories along the same vein, minus that last bit. Not that abusers generally walk around twirling a mustache with sinister laughter, but damn.
Jen and Andi were hungry, so we walked over to the Farmer's Market. I figured they might have coffee I'd support as well, though I guess they got rid of the coffee garden there? I bought some vegan ricotta and goat cheese, both to shift Julian further away from cheese that fucks his stomach up and to support the movement. Didn't grab anything for breakfast, though. We sat while they ate, I fell in love with every dog hundreds of times.... It was awesome. Stopped home to put the cheese in the fridge, so they could use the restroom (insert joke about my Max-esque living habits), I could grab some coffee, and they could meet the kids....or at least see them, as far as Lady Miss Friday would allow. I made offer of the pool, both for today and my usual. Either are welcome to swing by for a dip any time. Andi can hop over from Mission and Alabama, Jen can swing down from Sacramento. Any time! Andi wanted to show Jen around the gayborhood instead so we walked over to Gossip Grill. Stopped to chat with a slightly tipsy Michael on the way. He mentioned again how much he loves my hair, and we talked about Miss Kitty's and the OB RHS - they're keeping the fabric AP line in the show, thanks to me! He declined to join us for Gossip; had some other plans.
Gossip was a fantastic and educational. So many fantastic hair styles and colors, and on such fantastic people. The bartender was delighted to have a "sober" person in their bar. Apparently their mother's in AA. I'm not sober, I'm just surprisingly picky on my drugs, but I thought it would be absurdly pedantic to correct her. I don't drink. That's "sober" enough for the purposes of that conversation. I learned that Mo owns the place, and it's not really a Chris Shaw Empire, more like a Chris Shaw Collective or something. Andi also told us a lot about Gossip's business practices, progressive both socially and economically. I'm delighted, and I'll steer more social events there in the future. Also, Gossip being the only truly successful lesbian (et al) bar I can think of says something.
They started talking about going to The Hole, I texted Julian to see what time he was off. He didn't answer, but Jay said they were coming down for Sunday Funday again. We've missed each other for weeks and weeks, including that time Kevin went off the rails at the other bar. Just forgot their ID, but they were heading back just in time, so we caught a ride. Jay still needed to change into their outfit, including indigo glitter boots, but they sent us ahead. The place was far more crowded than I thought it would have been, and Jen kept her mask on the whole time. She's a teacher, and at least one of her kids is too young to get the vaccine. Julian eventually joined us, despite an initial argument that I should have invited him when he wasn't responding. Julian is also very vulnerable to FOMO, though, so if he was off later, my invite would have just set him off because I was off having fun when he was stuck working. See also him demanding I stay up in the morning because he had to be up. Crisis averted, it was a really fun afternoon. Marcus was talking to someone about scary movies and asked their favorite monsters. I don't have an insightful answer to give there; I'd like to choose some Karen in HR type villain. No one asked him, though, so I did after. His has more to do with trust issues, mob mentality, and just what "unconditional love" means. I think the meaning is supposed to be about personality over material things, but your personality is a condition. I should look further into it so I'm not reliant on pedancy to criticize.
We had to get Jen back to Andi's so she could catch her flight - Andi's apartment has outstanding, slightly surreal, architecture. Were maybe going to head to PECS after, though I didn't put too much stock in that. Julian still needed to eat something and call his mom, we had to take care of the kids, and I needed Lady Miss Friday. His call with his mom went well, except that she's finding life with 4 cats to be too much work. He suggested bringing one of his other kids back in December; Kujo will be dead by then. I didn't feel ready to commit and discussions with drunks are not usually very productive, so I suggested we see how things go for the next months and come back to it. A *massive* fight ensued. He kept ranting about how unfair it is that he has to sleep in the living room, that the place isn't big enough for his things and kids, etc. But he was never supposed to live here, and if he'd said from the beginning he wanted to move into Lady Miss Friday's apartment with his kids, I would never have married him. He threatened divorce, I went to start the paperwork on his laplet, and he refused to let me use it. I do have my own computer, I just figured we could do it together. I started on it, he threw his ring and I removed mine as well. I felt a little sad and a little trapped as I went through the site, but also insulated from it. Yay dissociation. I wasn't quite through it when he came back in, but almost. He put his ring back on "in good faith," asked to talk to me on the couch, but as always, worked himself into another frenzy and berated me again. Instead of fighting fire with nuclear fire, I zoned out and barely heard anything he said. Probably not a long term solution, but I figured he'd tire eventually. At least some of it was him explaining how much he loves his kids. I'm not really sure which of us he was trying to convince, and I'm sure some of this is related to Kujo's impending departure, but I'm not a therapist. We ended up back at the beginning - we'll wait and see how the integration is going when December rolls around. I will likely take the additional cat in. I'm not very good at saying "no," and if Lady Miss Friday was willing to accept it, I'd already have a whole zoo. Surprisingly calm night after that - we made dinner, watched 30 Rock, and even though I remembered I had the day off tomorrow, I didn't manage to stay up all that late. It was a long day.
Jen and Andi were hungry, so we walked over to the Farmer's Market. I figured they might have coffee I'd support as well, though I guess they got rid of the coffee garden there? I bought some vegan ricotta and goat cheese, both to shift Julian further away from cheese that fucks his stomach up and to support the movement. Didn't grab anything for breakfast, though. We sat while they ate, I fell in love with every dog hundreds of times.... It was awesome. Stopped home to put the cheese in the fridge, so they could use the restroom (insert joke about my Max-esque living habits), I could grab some coffee, and they could meet the kids....or at least see them, as far as Lady Miss Friday would allow. I made offer of the pool, both for today and my usual. Either are welcome to swing by for a dip any time. Andi can hop over from Mission and Alabama, Jen can swing down from Sacramento. Any time! Andi wanted to show Jen around the gayborhood instead so we walked over to Gossip Grill. Stopped to chat with a slightly tipsy Michael on the way. He mentioned again how much he loves my hair, and we talked about Miss Kitty's and the OB RHS - they're keeping the fabric AP line in the show, thanks to me! He declined to join us for Gossip; had some other plans.
Gossip was a fantastic and educational. So many fantastic hair styles and colors, and on such fantastic people. The bartender was delighted to have a "sober" person in their bar. Apparently their mother's in AA. I'm not sober, I'm just surprisingly picky on my drugs, but I thought it would be absurdly pedantic to correct her. I don't drink. That's "sober" enough for the purposes of that conversation. I learned that Mo owns the place, and it's not really a Chris Shaw Empire, more like a Chris Shaw Collective or something. Andi also told us a lot about Gossip's business practices, progressive both socially and economically. I'm delighted, and I'll steer more social events there in the future. Also, Gossip being the only truly successful lesbian (et al) bar I can think of says something.
They started talking about going to The Hole, I texted Julian to see what time he was off. He didn't answer, but Jay said they were coming down for Sunday Funday again. We've missed each other for weeks and weeks, including that time Kevin went off the rails at the other bar. Just forgot their ID, but they were heading back just in time, so we caught a ride. Jay still needed to change into their outfit, including indigo glitter boots, but they sent us ahead. The place was far more crowded than I thought it would have been, and Jen kept her mask on the whole time. She's a teacher, and at least one of her kids is too young to get the vaccine. Julian eventually joined us, despite an initial argument that I should have invited him when he wasn't responding. Julian is also very vulnerable to FOMO, though, so if he was off later, my invite would have just set him off because I was off having fun when he was stuck working. See also him demanding I stay up in the morning because he had to be up. Crisis averted, it was a really fun afternoon. Marcus was talking to someone about scary movies and asked their favorite monsters. I don't have an insightful answer to give there; I'd like to choose some Karen in HR type villain. No one asked him, though, so I did after. His has more to do with trust issues, mob mentality, and just what "unconditional love" means. I think the meaning is supposed to be about personality over material things, but your personality is a condition. I should look further into it so I'm not reliant on pedancy to criticize.
We had to get Jen back to Andi's so she could catch her flight - Andi's apartment has outstanding, slightly surreal, architecture. Were maybe going to head to PECS after, though I didn't put too much stock in that. Julian still needed to eat something and call his mom, we had to take care of the kids, and I needed Lady Miss Friday. His call with his mom went well, except that she's finding life with 4 cats to be too much work. He suggested bringing one of his other kids back in December; Kujo will be dead by then. I didn't feel ready to commit and discussions with drunks are not usually very productive, so I suggested we see how things go for the next months and come back to it. A *massive* fight ensued. He kept ranting about how unfair it is that he has to sleep in the living room, that the place isn't big enough for his things and kids, etc. But he was never supposed to live here, and if he'd said from the beginning he wanted to move into Lady Miss Friday's apartment with his kids, I would never have married him. He threatened divorce, I went to start the paperwork on his laplet, and he refused to let me use it. I do have my own computer, I just figured we could do it together. I started on it, he threw his ring and I removed mine as well. I felt a little sad and a little trapped as I went through the site, but also insulated from it. Yay dissociation. I wasn't quite through it when he came back in, but almost. He put his ring back on "in good faith," asked to talk to me on the couch, but as always, worked himself into another frenzy and berated me again. Instead of fighting fire with nuclear fire, I zoned out and barely heard anything he said. Probably not a long term solution, but I figured he'd tire eventually. At least some of it was him explaining how much he loves his kids. I'm not really sure which of us he was trying to convince, and I'm sure some of this is related to Kujo's impending departure, but I'm not a therapist. We ended up back at the beginning - we'll wait and see how the integration is going when December rolls around. I will likely take the additional cat in. I'm not very good at saying "no," and if Lady Miss Friday was willing to accept it, I'd already have a whole zoo. Surprisingly calm night after that - we made dinner, watched 30 Rock, and even though I remembered I had the day off tomorrow, I didn't manage to stay up all that late. It was a long day.
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