![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thepnutgalleryFelt rested for the first time in forever. Thanks, double strength melatonin! Julian was clearly also slumbering, as he didn't even stir when I gave Juno his shot. The remote connection wanted in on that sweet sleep action and completely refused to even start. I'm the only one who cares, but I made sure to send a message on Teams to make sure they knew I was there and trying. Oddly busy day, though claims were still very slow. But at the very end of the day, DKR rejected a claim I processed and didn't send an email about it. I hate having to wait, but it's a good reminder to just have work be this thing I do, not a passion. There was an insane thunderstorm in the afternoon, and I used the rain that fell through the window in the kitchen to mop. Why waste the water? Julian's kids didn't seem to care much, but Lady Miss Friday was upset enough for everyone. On Earth. But she also came out from under the bed to be near me while doing her Yosemite Sam impression. And then slept on the boy's pillowcase with her tail on me. I tried again to play Dragon Heroes or a reasonable facsimile, but since it was an online only game, every version I found required a nonexistent patch from the company that originally made it. If only I was a programmer or had an extra 100k laying around, I'd build a clone of it, lots of ads and a Supporter Pack like that other shooter game I used to play. Julian was a little late getting home from work - SoCal drivers panic at the sight of moisture, so traffic was insane. He almost ran out of fuel and called me from the freeway. He's still got his AAA membership I bought him, but I advised him to exit ASAP and try to make it to a gas station. Success! He talked with Rachel and his mom after work, I laid with Lady Miss Friday. Works for me, though he always apologizes. It is a bit strange that a "brief" call to his mom is usually a couple hours and that he calls her almost or every day, but everyone needs a hobby and this presumably makes everyone happy. Except his kids. It'll get better when Lady Miss Friday tolerates them.
I had no plans for the evening, but Julian wanted to go out. I'm easy, though I look forward to the day when he's secure enough to go out alone. I had a moment struggling with dysmorphia when I was getting dressed, mostly just missing those druggie days when my size 30 jeans were falling off me. He asked to go to 7-11 for cigarettes first, offered to pay for everything, but bartenders almost never charge for diet coke when it's ordered along with a drink. He also bought a pack of beer there so he could pre-drink more in the car or something. I remember taking shots in my car before Rich's on Friday nights. Feels like a completely different life, which is kind of cool when I think about it. I think a lot about things I'd do differently in another life, though most of those are just career options. If Dusty hadn't lost a bunch of everyone's money in a Ponzi scheme, he planned to set up a trust so I could stay a student forever. Mostly, he wanted to keep me safe in an Ivory Tower, away from folks like him. I was a terrible student, at least partly because I do better at my own pace, but nowadays that doesn't sound so bad. There are still places I think I can go to learn for free, and one of these days maybe I'll go back and finish that Psychology degree.
Parking was tough, at first, and there was a line for PECS. I thought maybe I missed notice of an event or something, but it seems like it was just folks coming out in honor of Folsom, even if they couldn't be there at Folsom. I brought my weed pen and poppers with me, though mostly just to ensure I'd feel the music deeper. Found really close parking after a loop looking for the usual spaces. Maybe folks were heading to The Eagle for a more authentic Folsomish experience? Ran into a few friends inside, a few folks commented on my Body Language shirt, and I was caught up enough to send a FB Messenger link to both Well Absolutely and Rice Boy, since they're so connected in my head. Makes no never mind to me if people brush it off as drunk-talk. I'm kind of like theists with their Gospel - I just want to spread the word, I can't help it if people don't listen. I intercepted a few very drunk folks, including one gent from Phoenix who kept trying to throw shade on San Diego. Someone from Paris, Milan, or Flufferville might be able to say we're a boring, sleepy town, but Phoenix? Lorde. It was only 10:30, so most of the evening's festivities had barely started. When I went to snag a refill I noticed again that the back bar largely ignored me. I'd say they were irritated I wasn't buying booze, but the bartender seemed shocked I only ordered a diet coke when he ran out of excuses to ignore me. Chatted with Chris a lot, gave him the W4Less link when Julian referred him to whatever the weed company that works with his rental agency. The spectrum of prices is really astounding. Weed4Less is king, of course, selling live resin carts for $10 when other places sell them for $50-75. Also saw Marcus, it turns out he and Julian were born the same day, though not the same year. He's going to have a movie night for Practical Magic and invited us. He also mentioned horror movie nights where no one is allowed to speak during the movie. Julian might like those, I'll just pick him up. Speaking of, I still need to find a replacement for Lyft for those days Julian needs the car. Marcus spoke a lot about his frustrations with dating/tricking - bassically just that he feels used by his tricks because he wants...something else. I have no idea if it's a relationship or what, but he did make sure to let me know it's not my responsibility to solve it for him. Later in the night I saw Ryan, and I used to trick with him and his husband, to the point I got the firm and definite feeling they wanted more from me, but I was always very comfortable as couple/throuple/etc's favorite trick. I didn't recognize him at first, and when I did get to talk to him he seemed irritated with me. The guy he'd been making out with was talking to Julian when I turned around, so maybe he just thought we were stealing his trick? No clue, but apparently I know the trick.
It got to be a little after 1, so we took off. All night I worked to not get irritated by drunkisms and I was more successful than not. We were going to fuck at home but Julian asked to stop for fast food on the way and let me know we wouldn't be fucking tonight. I persuaded him to go to JiB instead of McDonald's. Lesser of two evils? Not sure, but they forgot to give him his Dr. Pepper. He apologized for not fucking, suggested watching 30 Rock instead. I could have fucked, but I had no problem with his alternative. Fucking is fun, not required. I microwaved a leftover vegan burger I'd stashed in the freezer, Julian ate his whole feast, and then..things got weird. Instead of watching 30 Rock, he played a couple songs on Youtube, which is never a problem for me. But then he started denying his level of inebriation even though I didn't say anything. Said a drunk person couldn't do this and put his mattress down. Good job? Changed his mind again about fucking, I think he wanted to top, but I wasn't there. He threw a fit, trying again to use "secrets" as ammo. I have no secrets and can't be hurt, but even the attempt at abuse is a turnoff. I said I wouldn't have this conversation while he was drunk and went to Lady Miss Friday. It's progress that he didn't pull a Marcos and demand the discussion keep going, but he kept yelling at me from the living room until the bullets became snoring.
I had no plans for the evening, but Julian wanted to go out. I'm easy, though I look forward to the day when he's secure enough to go out alone. I had a moment struggling with dysmorphia when I was getting dressed, mostly just missing those druggie days when my size 30 jeans were falling off me. He asked to go to 7-11 for cigarettes first, offered to pay for everything, but bartenders almost never charge for diet coke when it's ordered along with a drink. He also bought a pack of beer there so he could pre-drink more in the car or something. I remember taking shots in my car before Rich's on Friday nights. Feels like a completely different life, which is kind of cool when I think about it. I think a lot about things I'd do differently in another life, though most of those are just career options. If Dusty hadn't lost a bunch of everyone's money in a Ponzi scheme, he planned to set up a trust so I could stay a student forever. Mostly, he wanted to keep me safe in an Ivory Tower, away from folks like him. I was a terrible student, at least partly because I do better at my own pace, but nowadays that doesn't sound so bad. There are still places I think I can go to learn for free, and one of these days maybe I'll go back and finish that Psychology degree.
Parking was tough, at first, and there was a line for PECS. I thought maybe I missed notice of an event or something, but it seems like it was just folks coming out in honor of Folsom, even if they couldn't be there at Folsom. I brought my weed pen and poppers with me, though mostly just to ensure I'd feel the music deeper. Found really close parking after a loop looking for the usual spaces. Maybe folks were heading to The Eagle for a more authentic Folsomish experience? Ran into a few friends inside, a few folks commented on my Body Language shirt, and I was caught up enough to send a FB Messenger link to both Well Absolutely and Rice Boy, since they're so connected in my head. Makes no never mind to me if people brush it off as drunk-talk. I'm kind of like theists with their Gospel - I just want to spread the word, I can't help it if people don't listen. I intercepted a few very drunk folks, including one gent from Phoenix who kept trying to throw shade on San Diego. Someone from Paris, Milan, or Flufferville might be able to say we're a boring, sleepy town, but Phoenix? Lorde. It was only 10:30, so most of the evening's festivities had barely started. When I went to snag a refill I noticed again that the back bar largely ignored me. I'd say they were irritated I wasn't buying booze, but the bartender seemed shocked I only ordered a diet coke when he ran out of excuses to ignore me. Chatted with Chris a lot, gave him the W4Less link when Julian referred him to whatever the weed company that works with his rental agency. The spectrum of prices is really astounding. Weed4Less is king, of course, selling live resin carts for $10 when other places sell them for $50-75. Also saw Marcus, it turns out he and Julian were born the same day, though not the same year. He's going to have a movie night for Practical Magic and invited us. He also mentioned horror movie nights where no one is allowed to speak during the movie. Julian might like those, I'll just pick him up. Speaking of, I still need to find a replacement for Lyft for those days Julian needs the car. Marcus spoke a lot about his frustrations with dating/tricking - bassically just that he feels used by his tricks because he wants...something else. I have no idea if it's a relationship or what, but he did make sure to let me know it's not my responsibility to solve it for him. Later in the night I saw Ryan, and I used to trick with him and his husband, to the point I got the firm and definite feeling they wanted more from me, but I was always very comfortable as couple/throuple/etc's favorite trick. I didn't recognize him at first, and when I did get to talk to him he seemed irritated with me. The guy he'd been making out with was talking to Julian when I turned around, so maybe he just thought we were stealing his trick? No clue, but apparently I know the trick.
It got to be a little after 1, so we took off. All night I worked to not get irritated by drunkisms and I was more successful than not. We were going to fuck at home but Julian asked to stop for fast food on the way and let me know we wouldn't be fucking tonight. I persuaded him to go to JiB instead of McDonald's. Lesser of two evils? Not sure, but they forgot to give him his Dr. Pepper. He apologized for not fucking, suggested watching 30 Rock instead. I could have fucked, but I had no problem with his alternative. Fucking is fun, not required. I microwaved a leftover vegan burger I'd stashed in the freezer, Julian ate his whole feast, and then..things got weird. Instead of watching 30 Rock, he played a couple songs on Youtube, which is never a problem for me. But then he started denying his level of inebriation even though I didn't say anything. Said a drunk person couldn't do this and put his mattress down. Good job? Changed his mind again about fucking, I think he wanted to top, but I wasn't there. He threw a fit, trying again to use "secrets" as ammo. I have no secrets and can't be hurt, but even the attempt at abuse is a turnoff. I said I wouldn't have this conversation while he was drunk and went to Lady Miss Friday. It's progress that he didn't pull a Marcos and demand the discussion keep going, but he kept yelling at me from the living room until the bullets became snoring.
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}