Ka-Boom

[thepnutgallery]

Up before dawn. Bother. Double bother since I was up so late last night. When I call my psychiatrist, I'll have to remind him to get me an actual sleeping pill or something. Julian sneezed himself awake before his alarm, but he goes in later on Sundays so we just chatted a bit. For all that Friday ended very awkwardly and Saturday got off to a rough start, it really ended quite well. He went off to work, I tried to get caught up on my journal but I was so fucking tired, I took a sleeping pill and crashed until Tim and Alan walked in. I didn't quite catch what they were doing in the area, but we chatted briefly, I showed them my recent music treasures and epiphany with poppers - they're not just for sex! Alan recommends ketamine and coke as drugs for The Quest, but I've already crossed them both off the list. I have no interest in coke and my tolerance to ketamine builds too quickly. They left when Alan missed Zeus - I've been there. Obv. I tried again to get journaling done, though I got distracted when Phyllis sent me another conspiracy TikTok, saying that AOC and the Evil Dems were letting people lie on death certificates to get 9k for funeral expenses. So all you have to do is kill a family member and you can get reimbursed. How dastardly! Then she decided I'm not real because the real Eric would never sneer at these things. It's like she doesn't even know me. She said she wouldn't talk to me again, but again, threatening to withhold affection or contact is not a threat to me. I mostly just felt bad for her. Bummer that I'll never get my bat necklace, RPG books, or that mouse hat she promised to make, but these are all things that I should be able to find elsewhere. I looked briefly for the bat necklace but couldn't find one that matched. I might get one symbolic of it but more fitting for me now. Julian was a little late getting home but I still had time to get down to my client. We might have chatted a bit much, but he managed the time perfectly and I tried to stop thinking so much. Julian was on the phone with one of his managers and might get another dollar raise! He was already tipsy and kept drinking while on the phone. It was about that double-rented car, and he went over and over and over it on the phone, then over and over and over it with me. I heard it, I get it, I nodded along. I got home at a pretty perfectly timed 7:45 but he didn't finish the call until about 9:30, then hung out with Terry a bit. I honestly hoped he'd just spend the rest of the night there, or at least until I went to bed. He wanted to go to PECS again, it being his Friday, but it was almost 10:30 when he got back and he was drunk. I told him so and he erupted. Screamed about how unfair his schedule is, demanded that I call out of work tomorrow - only fair, since he went to PECS last night. The fact that I only went for him and his FOMO fell on deaf ears. And of course he screamed about my poppers and weed. It's EXACTLY the same as his drinking 24/7! I hadn't had poppers or weed in hours and hours and then he just started making things up. He also forbade me from using "his" car. I'm pedantic and vicious enough to point out that it's not his car, he's renting it off my insurance because my car was totaled when he went to get cigarettes at 2am. I didn't blame him for it or suggest it was caused by drinking, but he threw a fit anyway. Things got very, very, very heated and vicious and he shoved me. He backed off and there were tears in his eyes, but I already said I wasn't going to go out and I felt like giving in here would be the wrong decision for both of us.