Marble Jar
Sep. 9th, 2021 12:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thepnutgalleryEven though I said I'd start feeding the kids before 7, I still didn't stumble out until 6:55. It counts! Waking Julian by laying next to him is becoming a routine, and honestly kind of a nice one. As much as I love being completely on top of my work, it does increase my anxiety about being laid off. Slow as we are, literally no one else is so caught up they can do their work contemporaneously, so it's not like the work isn't coming. Julian still came home on his lunch, though he hadn't managed to call Affinity about his insurance. I'll see about adding him to my vision and dental through work. Maybe I can even include his copays on my FSA? No clue. He didn't want coffee then, but said he'd want it after his dental appointment. I'm a little slow, so it didn't even occur to me he might not want to show up to a dental appointment with coffee breath.
I thought I had my Quarterly Meeting with Kathy but it turned out to be Lynelle. She does air clearing so well. We spent the first 30-45 minutes just talking about pets, feedback loops, music, memory, psychology....it was kind of amazing. She asked how I got Lady Miss Friday and appreciated the chain of saving that Tim, Pupple, Lady Miss Friday, and I linked in. Then she asked about the OT. All very sensible, she totally feels me on the strong pull to let work become worship, but she was mostly concerned with the diminution of trust this caused. My lying when caught, and wanted to know if there was anything on their side they should redo if given the chance. I told her very honestly that my intent had been to protect ADI. I figured if I denied it all the way out the door, they wouldn't be able to pay me for all that OT. I didn't tell her about that realization that 2k isn't worth being fired over, and that if I was going, I should at least get paid. But I also eventually told her how upset I was they waited to tell me after the investigation, not when the concern first started up. I could have likely avoided the whole discovery just by explaining - and even helping investigate! - the mystery eservice time stamps. But then, maybe I'd have become even more daring and worked off the clock even more. I felt good and awestruck by her managerial abilities.
When Julian came back from the dentist, he said he had gum disease and gingivitis, but his teeth were amazingly healthy, given that. And although they couldn't figure out his insurance, they waived the fee or agreed to put it on the next one. He still went back to work for another couple hours to make sure he got his full shift, he just stopped home for coffee. And a beer. When he left, I tried to go through some messages I'd been neglecting. I tried to look back in through Phyllis' various TikToks that she sent, but the most recent one was a "secret leaked recording" of some Middle Eastern official reading Biden for filth. Voiceovers are so easy when they're wearing masks, and even other Trumpet commenters noted the voices were obvious fakes. She swapped to ranting about Afghanistan. I had no idea she was so invested and knowledgeable in foreign policy and international affairs. I hadn't read much about it, but gave myself a quick rundown. Yeah, Biden totally fucked up, just like every President in the last 70 years or so. She insisted he alone was awful - END OF DISCUSSION. I left a vicious riposte. I dunno, I should have shown more compassion, been gentler, but she attacked over conservative conspiracy nonsense. Again.
I finished King's Blood Four and started on the next in the trilogy. It was a really lovely short story, if a bit rushed at the end. I'll figure out when I've finished if it's like that Alice trilogy that I feel should have just been a single novel, but they wanted or needed to stretch it out to a trilogy. Lane also messaged me, but he turned out to just be randy. That was very surprising, especially since he initially forgot the entire conversation we had before I Friended him to where he requested advice for Model Mayhem, and raged at me. I still reloaded Snapchat for him, thinking back to dating Warren. I offered a 3 way when he commented a couple times how sad he was that I'm married, but he's in Vancouver. British Columbia, not Washington.
Julian got home a little after 7, livid that work kept him so late. I saw a lot of displacement, raging at his kids and their food dishes, as though they have any control over where we set them. It was kind of disturbing to witness, but I'm aware everyone does this to some extent. I tried to keep everything bright and light, though I still made sure to talk about trust when he asked . Julian saw lightning and joked about Arkansas laughing at our "storms." I thought about the trip to Vegas for American Idol and the dazzling light show of lightning we saw in the desert on the way there. I went in with Lady Miss Friday when I heard thunder. Amazingly, she not only laid next to me, she calmed down and let me give her a back rub. It means so much to me that she comes to me for comfort. I don't know if that's just a behavioral pattern from when I got back from rehab or a sign of our growth together, but I'm deeply appreciative.
Julian asked after me a couple times, so when the weather and Lady Miss Friday calmed down, I went out with him. He then went out to call his mom. He'd been talking about it all night but finally went and did it. The cat spoons I sent for her birthday finally arrived and she adores them. They're apparently strictly decorative, and if I'd known that I wouldn't have bought them, but all good. I stayed on the couch journaling, mostly just because I didn't want to have to leave Lady Miss Friday again, backwards as that is. Julian came back inside throughout the call to get beers and include me in the chat, and he eventually had to swap to my phone. He talked to his mom for a couple hours but still needed cigarettes. I was really very proud of him for asking for a ride, since he'd been drinking all night. He forgot his phone to mail back, but said he'd mail it tomorrow. He was going to buy me some sour candy at the Servall Liquor but they also had no Sour Jolly Ranchers. There's apparently a nationwide shortage or something. It's fine, sour candy is worse for your teeth, that's calories I don't need, and money he doesn't need to be spending.
I thought I had my Quarterly Meeting with Kathy but it turned out to be Lynelle. She does air clearing so well. We spent the first 30-45 minutes just talking about pets, feedback loops, music, memory, psychology....it was kind of amazing. She asked how I got Lady Miss Friday and appreciated the chain of saving that Tim, Pupple, Lady Miss Friday, and I linked in. Then she asked about the OT. All very sensible, she totally feels me on the strong pull to let work become worship, but she was mostly concerned with the diminution of trust this caused. My lying when caught, and wanted to know if there was anything on their side they should redo if given the chance. I told her very honestly that my intent had been to protect ADI. I figured if I denied it all the way out the door, they wouldn't be able to pay me for all that OT. I didn't tell her about that realization that 2k isn't worth being fired over, and that if I was going, I should at least get paid. But I also eventually told her how upset I was they waited to tell me after the investigation, not when the concern first started up. I could have likely avoided the whole discovery just by explaining - and even helping investigate! - the mystery eservice time stamps. But then, maybe I'd have become even more daring and worked off the clock even more. I felt good and awestruck by her managerial abilities.
When Julian came back from the dentist, he said he had gum disease and gingivitis, but his teeth were amazingly healthy, given that. And although they couldn't figure out his insurance, they waived the fee or agreed to put it on the next one. He still went back to work for another couple hours to make sure he got his full shift, he just stopped home for coffee. And a beer. When he left, I tried to go through some messages I'd been neglecting. I tried to look back in through Phyllis' various TikToks that she sent, but the most recent one was a "secret leaked recording" of some Middle Eastern official reading Biden for filth. Voiceovers are so easy when they're wearing masks, and even other Trumpet commenters noted the voices were obvious fakes. She swapped to ranting about Afghanistan. I had no idea she was so invested and knowledgeable in foreign policy and international affairs. I hadn't read much about it, but gave myself a quick rundown. Yeah, Biden totally fucked up, just like every President in the last 70 years or so. She insisted he alone was awful - END OF DISCUSSION. I left a vicious riposte. I dunno, I should have shown more compassion, been gentler, but she attacked over conservative conspiracy nonsense. Again.
I finished King's Blood Four and started on the next in the trilogy. It was a really lovely short story, if a bit rushed at the end. I'll figure out when I've finished if it's like that Alice trilogy that I feel should have just been a single novel, but they wanted or needed to stretch it out to a trilogy. Lane also messaged me, but he turned out to just be randy. That was very surprising, especially since he initially forgot the entire conversation we had before I Friended him to where he requested advice for Model Mayhem, and raged at me. I still reloaded Snapchat for him, thinking back to dating Warren. I offered a 3 way when he commented a couple times how sad he was that I'm married, but he's in Vancouver. British Columbia, not Washington.
Julian got home a little after 7, livid that work kept him so late. I saw a lot of displacement, raging at his kids and their food dishes, as though they have any control over where we set them. It was kind of disturbing to witness, but I'm aware everyone does this to some extent. I tried to keep everything bright and light, though I still made sure to talk about trust when he asked . Julian saw lightning and joked about Arkansas laughing at our "storms." I thought about the trip to Vegas for American Idol and the dazzling light show of lightning we saw in the desert on the way there. I went in with Lady Miss Friday when I heard thunder. Amazingly, she not only laid next to me, she calmed down and let me give her a back rub. It means so much to me that she comes to me for comfort. I don't know if that's just a behavioral pattern from when I got back from rehab or a sign of our growth together, but I'm deeply appreciative.
Julian asked after me a couple times, so when the weather and Lady Miss Friday calmed down, I went out with him. He then went out to call his mom. He'd been talking about it all night but finally went and did it. The cat spoons I sent for her birthday finally arrived and she adores them. They're apparently strictly decorative, and if I'd known that I wouldn't have bought them, but all good. I stayed on the couch journaling, mostly just because I didn't want to have to leave Lady Miss Friday again, backwards as that is. Julian came back inside throughout the call to get beers and include me in the chat, and he eventually had to swap to my phone. He talked to his mom for a couple hours but still needed cigarettes. I was really very proud of him for asking for a ride, since he'd been drinking all night. He forgot his phone to mail back, but said he'd mail it tomorrow. He was going to buy me some sour candy at the Servall Liquor but they also had no Sour Jolly Ranchers. There's apparently a nationwide shortage or something. It's fine, sour candy is worse for your teeth, that's calories I don't need, and money he doesn't need to be spending.
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