Big Day Off
Jul. 24th, 2021 05:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thepnutgallery4am, but I don't think I took sleeping meds last night. And it took me a minute to remember that it was Saturday and I didn't have work. And a brief moment of panic not having any plans for the day. When I got up to piss I saw cat shit in the bathtub. More surprised than shocked, I still left it for him to take care of. I heard his phone go off a couple times but he did make it off to work. I started making coffee so I'd have the energy to do...something. But then I remembered that I was out of creamer. Ugh. Rather than waste the $.02 worth of coffee crystals or walk to the store, I just cut the water off and made a poor man's espresso. Lady Miss Friday was distraught and the place was getting bad. Too bad even for the void where my standards should be. I vacuumed, dishes, trash/recycling, put the fridge back together, cat boxes, food, and water. I was fuming the whole time and some of that bled back onto me. I tried to criticize myself for not being detail oriented in my cleaning, but I'm immune to that at this point. It's not news to anyone. I sat down to get my journal updated and work on things, and had Symbism in the back of my mind. I think I talked it up too much in my head and expected to wiggle my nose and have it fall into place. I reintroduced myself to the process and finished the articles of incorporation.
No clue why, but I wasn't expecting Julian home for lunch. He asked to talk and we did. I think I kept it balanced. I didn't want to be too blunt about the consideration of divorce or annulment, but I think I communicated how dire a situation it was. I reiterated the need for sobriety and therapy and although there was some resistance, he agreed.
Tim called me after, noting his apprehension when I got booted from rehab early and sympathy for my position. Terry came over to check on me and ask for company. There was something more about Julian, but given that we just mediated things, there wasn't much to say. He said he just came from an AA meeting but her seemed drunk. He was mostly lonely and bored, but his cello was pawned again. Definitely not anything I could help with. I suggested apps, books/e-books, etc but then he said he was too busy. Okey dokey.
When I got back to Lady Miss Friday she was laying in her litter box. Good thing I just cleaned it but...I looked up what that even means and immediately failed my save for WebMD's Hysteria. I'm immune to it when the target is me, but I have no resistance when I'm caught in the area of effect. All sorts of potential health issues had me trying to find a mobile vet. I know I'm going to have to eventually, but I feel like they'd call Animal Protective Services on us right now. I just want her to be as comfortable as possible, so no time in the near future. I started thinking about the possibility of an APS, but we're definitely not there yet. I backed away from the ledge and read a little further. Stress can also cause it, and she's had a tragically bumper crop of stress. Especially recently. I tried to think of ways to reduce or help her manage stress, but most everything felt out of my control.
When Julian came home he said work was slow all day until it picked up at the end. I'm working on optimism, so I just commented that more business is more money, even though they didn't hit commission today. He went to grab a beer and I responded with confusion. He hedged on sobriety again and expressed his own confusion. Cool that he agreed to "get help." The fuck does that mean? I went through something similar. I feel like most people with an addiction take that usual line from society that they could/should just...stop using. In Julian's case, he's still thinking he can control his drinking, just like I told myself for two years that *next* time I'd get the dosing right, etc. We called county behavioral health and eventually got through to someone. Julian didn't fudge anything, just flat out said he still drinks liquour and gets violent. I was very impressed. They said he needed to go to the ER and ask for "SUD Withdrawal Management." He didn't want to wait and had no idea what that even entailed, so I called the ER and asked. Wasn't able to find out much, but bassically he goes there, asks for help, a doc checks him out and recommends him to the SUD nurse, they go over appropriate resources from there. He still put it off to Monday so it would be his weekend. I think that's fair. He watched up to the current episode in The Colony, but I'm getting vague Lost-esque vibes, and not just because Josh Holloway is also in this one. Not that I ever see him as anything but a hired paintball gun. AHS is also guilty of this, where it feels like they bassically improved the whole season. I mentioned my concern for Lady Miss Friday, he suggested going to Unleashed by Petco. I remembered something about major pet companies having dark sides, but saw that Petco won Most Ethical Pet Company for like 6 years in a row or something. I meant to only get a laser pointer and some calming treats, maybe look for more of her meaty sticks, but all they had were laser pointers. I also bought a toy for his kids, because I don't think they have enough stimulation. Especially Gizmo. But while we were checking out, Julian asked the CSR about the meaty sticks. She didn't know but her manager gave lots of suggestions. He was either a very talented salesman, very passionate about pet products, or both, because he persuaded me to buy $75 worth of stuff. They had a promotion for the app where you get $20 off a purchase of $60+, but he also noted that Petco would let us return absolutely any item for any reason. Giving that reset point really takes the pressure off.
Julian asked for a pack of beer since he's saying goodye to booze soon. I dunno. I guess. I bought him a 6 pack from TJ's, we also snagged some dill hummus and the veggie chips he (and my mice) like. Then we stopped by Ralph's since they were so close. They had a value-brand version of the Sheba salmon sticks, so I picked up a pack of those and another laser pointer. No reason not to, right? We watched Never Have I Ever when we got everything put away. It was hilarious and lovely, but some tropes don't work anymore, I think. My friend from Ohio asked to call. He'd messaged me earlier in the day, but I figured he probably just wanted me to talk dirty to him. I messaged him neutrally after, and he noted something about giving too much to a friend. He's got a bud who needs rehab from meth. Apparently it's quite the trend. Since I think he uses as well, I feel like that must be so awkward to be there for. We also talked about cats, since he has a 16 year old orange chatty tabby. He's adorable. It was almost 2, so I opted to try to sleep even without meds.
No clue why, but I wasn't expecting Julian home for lunch. He asked to talk and we did. I think I kept it balanced. I didn't want to be too blunt about the consideration of divorce or annulment, but I think I communicated how dire a situation it was. I reiterated the need for sobriety and therapy and although there was some resistance, he agreed.
Tim called me after, noting his apprehension when I got booted from rehab early and sympathy for my position. Terry came over to check on me and ask for company. There was something more about Julian, but given that we just mediated things, there wasn't much to say. He said he just came from an AA meeting but her seemed drunk. He was mostly lonely and bored, but his cello was pawned again. Definitely not anything I could help with. I suggested apps, books/e-books, etc but then he said he was too busy. Okey dokey.
When I got back to Lady Miss Friday she was laying in her litter box. Good thing I just cleaned it but...I looked up what that even means and immediately failed my save for WebMD's Hysteria. I'm immune to it when the target is me, but I have no resistance when I'm caught in the area of effect. All sorts of potential health issues had me trying to find a mobile vet. I know I'm going to have to eventually, but I feel like they'd call Animal Protective Services on us right now. I just want her to be as comfortable as possible, so no time in the near future. I started thinking about the possibility of an APS, but we're definitely not there yet. I backed away from the ledge and read a little further. Stress can also cause it, and she's had a tragically bumper crop of stress. Especially recently. I tried to think of ways to reduce or help her manage stress, but most everything felt out of my control.
When Julian came home he said work was slow all day until it picked up at the end. I'm working on optimism, so I just commented that more business is more money, even though they didn't hit commission today. He went to grab a beer and I responded with confusion. He hedged on sobriety again and expressed his own confusion. Cool that he agreed to "get help." The fuck does that mean? I went through something similar. I feel like most people with an addiction take that usual line from society that they could/should just...stop using. In Julian's case, he's still thinking he can control his drinking, just like I told myself for two years that *next* time I'd get the dosing right, etc. We called county behavioral health and eventually got through to someone. Julian didn't fudge anything, just flat out said he still drinks liquour and gets violent. I was very impressed. They said he needed to go to the ER and ask for "SUD Withdrawal Management." He didn't want to wait and had no idea what that even entailed, so I called the ER and asked. Wasn't able to find out much, but bassically he goes there, asks for help, a doc checks him out and recommends him to the SUD nurse, they go over appropriate resources from there. He still put it off to Monday so it would be his weekend. I think that's fair. He watched up to the current episode in The Colony, but I'm getting vague Lost-esque vibes, and not just because Josh Holloway is also in this one. Not that I ever see him as anything but a hired paintball gun. AHS is also guilty of this, where it feels like they bassically improved the whole season. I mentioned my concern for Lady Miss Friday, he suggested going to Unleashed by Petco. I remembered something about major pet companies having dark sides, but saw that Petco won Most Ethical Pet Company for like 6 years in a row or something. I meant to only get a laser pointer and some calming treats, maybe look for more of her meaty sticks, but all they had were laser pointers. I also bought a toy for his kids, because I don't think they have enough stimulation. Especially Gizmo. But while we were checking out, Julian asked the CSR about the meaty sticks. She didn't know but her manager gave lots of suggestions. He was either a very talented salesman, very passionate about pet products, or both, because he persuaded me to buy $75 worth of stuff. They had a promotion for the app where you get $20 off a purchase of $60+, but he also noted that Petco would let us return absolutely any item for any reason. Giving that reset point really takes the pressure off.
Julian asked for a pack of beer since he's saying goodye to booze soon. I dunno. I guess. I bought him a 6 pack from TJ's, we also snagged some dill hummus and the veggie chips he (and my mice) like. Then we stopped by Ralph's since they were so close. They had a value-brand version of the Sheba salmon sticks, so I picked up a pack of those and another laser pointer. No reason not to, right? We watched Never Have I Ever when we got everything put away. It was hilarious and lovely, but some tropes don't work anymore, I think. My friend from Ohio asked to call. He'd messaged me earlier in the day, but I figured he probably just wanted me to talk dirty to him. I messaged him neutrally after, and he noted something about giving too much to a friend. He's got a bud who needs rehab from meth. Apparently it's quite the trend. Since I think he uses as well, I feel like that must be so awkward to be there for. We also talked about cats, since he has a 16 year old orange chatty tabby. He's adorable. It was almost 2, so I opted to try to sleep even without meds.
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