Ambivalent Survival

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I heard Julian getting ready for work, but since I had nothing to offer him, I just stayed with Lady Miss Friday. I kept busy for most of the day, relatively moderately Questing, journaling, and giving attention and treats to all the kids in turn. The empty cart I'd loaded with trim run or shatter was down to dregs, and then I had the idea to fill it with rubbing alcohol. Dissolved the extra concentrate, smoked the alcohol. Or something. I also tried to manage the night job. A clientfriend hit me up about fisting the other day and while I've done it, I'm no pro. And part of my trying to redefine my relationship with my night job is saying no when I'm not a good fit. Unfortunately, I'm an old man who's been out of the game for a few years, even before the world closed down. And many of the folks I knew also found drugs they regretted. I think we all got out of it, at least this time. But the result is that I didn't know who to refer him to. But I had at least a few ideas on who might know. Tim called again, mostly just talked about how excited he is to get away on the 4th. And have apple pie. I talked around the Quest, not to hide it, just to blunt the impact. Some ideas that would be laughably easy if they work burrowed into my head, and we'll see what happens there. THCp seems promising, but I'm still apprehensive about developing tolerance to cannabinoids. There's time. Everything I've read about tolerance breaks has been people who are heavy, heavy weed smokers for years. I'd hoped to also work on the papers for Symbism, but I ran out of time. We talked about that, too, and I really do need to take at least a brief dive into Buddhism, both to develop the ideas I have for Symbism and refine them.

When Julian got home, he talked about how much he loved his job and his workday, I talked about how important of finding a job, or at least a work community, that you love. I had no idea and no plans for the night, we watched some Happy Endings, and I thought the show was really sweet. Swapped over to Youtube after that, Gizmo decided he loves laying in front of the TV, and he's not transparent. I made some tea and Julian called me over. Flora was having dinner. She has a massive tumor on her side, and tumor that I would have called massive if I wasn't aware of the side one, on her hip. We looked up small animal/exotic vets, and also what to do about tumors. This is another bitter gratitude. Feeder mice are extremely prone to developing tumors. If they're under a year and the tumors are small, a vet will probably remove them. They'll probably grow back, but you'll buy them an extra couple months. Mice over a year, forget about it. I didn't really feel comfortable delving too far into that, just based on the number of terribly unfortunate happenings recently. We went back to Youtube and I found a show called "Kevin Can F**K Himself," featuring Annie Murphy (no relation to Brittany). It seemed to be a laugh-track sitcom at first and Julian was going to go outside, but then it became a much more complex show likely about a woman divorcing reality to cope with reality. Sadly, there were only two episodes so far so we swapped back to Happy Endings. I tapped out before too long, honestly kind of eager to be next to Lady Miss Friday. Looking back, I suppose that's not terribly surprising.