Maelstrom Reflections

[thepnutgallery]

Julian had sent me another text after I went to bed checking if I was sure I was okay. I went through a couple drafts of an answer before settling on one. Ultimately, I settled on honesty and communication. I tried to keep things positive, keep them from attacking, but there are really only so many ways to explain that I won't be taken advantage of...any more than I allow. Givers have to set boundaries because takers rarely do. As I thought more about last night, yes, absolutely, totally manipulative. But I can't tell if that's sophistication or the sort of manipulation children do. I can read parenting books a lot faster than deal with a sociopath.

I kind of wanted coffee, but I'm also kind of trying not to go to the store until Julian gets back with my credit card. Plus of being a garbage disposal, I have plenty of soy curls, and I will eat them with salt & pepper if I run out of sauce. IDGAF.

I didn't hear back from him, but I had a pretty phenomenal day. All my work from last week to make sure I started with a clean slate today really paid off. All of JJD's eservice and claims, all of mine, plus my case offers and NOAs. And of course I worked up to 4pm entering all of the eservice that came in for my and JJD's digits. I did actually run out of things to do, but rather than surf FB or something, I worked on my journal. Unfortunately, I got to a part that's fairly fuzzy for me. That's okay. It'll come or it's gone. Instead, I started up from where I could remember.

I did not hear back from Julian, but his dad texted me asking to call tomorrow. That's fine. It was just after 10 when I finally finished journaling. No clue why, but despite not having coffee all day, I had a hard time getting to sleep.