Glass Obelisk

[thepnutgallery]

We'd been having an issue with the preferred printer in the office, so when Kathy reminded everyone to print to it, she had to fix it. And then an avalanche of week-old backlogged printing started shooting out. Like Dursley trying to stop the Hogwarts' letter. It was Thursday, but I'd been so absurdly focused I literally had nothing else to do, so I took her mail for the day, worked up her claims, etc. Meh. Being so far ahead, I took time out for Lady Miss Friday when she became insanely affectionate again. She was licking her lips, which I normally associate with nausea, but how strange to be nauseous and wildly affectionate? I learned cats also lick their lips in antici...but then she projectile vomited. Another bonus for keeping shirts and such on the bed for her - she's more likely to vomit on them instead of the blankets. But in her vomit, I found hairballs, so I'm hoping that's the culprit because I can address it. There are hairball treats, etc., and I will find a brush she likes. Knowing the truth is not the same as being empowered to change it, but it's a good first step.

Julian gave me some minor analysis on the music I sent him. Given that not everyone's first instinct is to analyze everything they come into contact with until there's nothing left, I was very pleased. I'm not totally sure which ones he was talking about, because he liked two, but the others were "slow and dark." I can kind of puzzle that out, I think, but I sent him the Pickathon Empty Northern Hemisphere, both PAG's Lady is Dead and the In This Shirt video using The Forgotten Circus footage, Two Men in Love, and Petals. Shirt is obviously quite slow and dark, as is much of my non-thumpa thumpa musical selections. It's fine, he'll obviously hear them many times in the time he's here. It was enough to get me to take his call. We talked about the trip, possible group sex, etc., and he said something about his massive cock. As everyone should be well aware, I'm no size queen. For all that having *a* penis is currently one of my sexual requirements, dick is a relatively small part of sex with me, no matter how big it is. I've bottomed for partners everywhere from 3-13". I would've been a great partner for Hedwig. "It's what I've got to work with." I'm not sure how he missed this aspect of me before, but he was touched. I suppose it makes sense that anyone insecure about anything (or everything) will latch onto whatever their society tells them they've got going for them. Physical things are very, very awkward in that realm. Particularly for hung guys, it really cements that Venn Diagram between Absolute Narcissism and Crippling Self Doubt. I've talked to guys who, while declining me because they required even platonic friends to be 8+", worried that people saw them as a penis with person attached. Great, you won the genetic lottery there, but what about you as a person? What do people like about you? About *who* you are and not what you've got. Somehow we also talked about That One side of me. I love dichotomous things juxtaposed, I just wish I could figure out how dark my Dark Willow goes. Like....could it get to where Anish Kapoor isn't allowed to use it? You know all of this, but I'm a Helper. I live to make life less horrid for others. But when an animal is mildly inconvenienced in pain, I flip. Might even be a blackout psychotic type episode or something, but I dunno, I'm inquisitive to a fault. Okay, so we've established that I would easily, happily murder people who hurt animals. I don't even feel like that gets into That One side of me since that should be a given for literally everyone. But I'm always at that crux between retribution and a bleeding heart. I can't take suffering, even when it's deserved.

Okay, I've got it now. Nothing fixes this. Someone was hurt and probably died in anguish. Vengeance is great from a Deterrence Theory perspective, but there's nothing to be done for the victim. Scream into the void all you need to, but it's done.


...pation.