Regressing.
Feb. 14th, 2008 10:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thepnutgalleryTuesday - Stopped by home after work, then jetted over to the gym where I was meeting Swimrod/Rodney for an exericise date. Stupid me forgot my goggles in the car, which just made for a more difficult workout. I'm not complaining. Stopped by the Fiesta Market on the way home - the stuff they advertised for uber cheap (specifically, 5 lbs/$1 oranges, 4/$1 cucumbers, and 3lbs/$1 carrots) was uber cheap and good quality. Everything else was fairly expensive. Got home to find Ken and Matthew chatting. Ken went for a shower, and I talked a bit with Matthew. We went to Bistro D'Asia for dinner, where I had cucumber rolls and a seaweed salad. The roll was very small and not worth 3.50, and the seaweed salad, while delicious, was very tough and chewy. Ken paid, which was very nice. There was a waiter there that Matthew was quite smitten with, and he was kind of on the verge of raping him when Allen FINALLY showed up. I guess it's the week for memorial services, because one of the people on the tennis team OD'd on coke the week before, and Allen, as the president of the tennis club, was organizing a binder of fun stories about him that he collected from club members. Even after Allen showed up, Matthew was still going on and on about this waiter, and having a 3-way with him. Allen was clearly uncomfy, so I volunteered "At least he's including you!". Had a talk with Ken about that on the way home. He thought I was saying it to be hurful, and was very hurt by it, since he's been so good. He was mollified when I told him I only said it for Allen's benefit, but I still put my arm around him, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He's the only person I know who can hurt me and have me comfort him.
Sean had messaged, but of course I was there, so Ken had no interest in seeing him. Mostly did nothing for the rest of the night. I thought about going up to Marie's, to chat and watch American Idol (since that's what she was doing), but I didn't feel like driving up there, and I didn't want to come home to find Ken gone for drinks or whatever with Sean.
I snacked on carrots and oranges all night, so I didn't feel completely ready for sex, but we did it anyway. Not the best time we've had recently, but it was good, and they can't all be the best sex ever.
Wednesday - Did a lot of work because I didn't have much choice in the matter. Ran home after work, picked up my and Ken's workout clothes, and then headed over to the gym. He went directly from work to the gym, and only got there about 5-10 minutes after me. I did my workout, which totally sucked. Cross-trainer, with the awesome music from spin class behind me convinced me that I could do level 12. I couldn't. I stayed on level 12, but had gone down to 75 RPMs (instead of my usual 80-85+)...only burned about 545 calories. Also did bicep and shoulder work, and resolved to do a second set of pushups and crunches at home. Headed over to Henry's for Double Ad Wendesday, but there were no good sales. Still spent $7 on some essentials (brown rice, TVP), and some junky treats (pizza crust and sour cream). Ken was at the store when I got home, and there was a message from Marie and Chris Mack on the phone. Gave Marie directions, and was insulted by Irish, who was concerned because we might try to force tofu on him, and since he's a straight man coming into an apartment shared by 3 gay men, lord knows we'd try to rape him all night long. I asked Ken about inviting Chris, but he got uncomfortable and said he'd rather not.
Marie and Irish showed up a little after American Idol started. Stayed until a little after 11. It was a good time, though not the "ice cream" I had been expecting, and I was ready for them to leave after Idol.
When Ken and I finally laid down, I regressed again. He was snuggled all around me, which I usually find essential, when I suddenly didn't want to be touched by him. This wasn't his fault, as he's been nothing but wonderful, so I just laid there with my skin burning off. Going back to the morning of the 28th, and I still can't reconcile things. I'm going to see a counselor. I just need to figure out when.
My constant regression isn't Ken's problem, though, so I still did my best to cuddle him when he had a bad dream or the like.
Sean had messaged, but of course I was there, so Ken had no interest in seeing him. Mostly did nothing for the rest of the night. I thought about going up to Marie's, to chat and watch American Idol (since that's what she was doing), but I didn't feel like driving up there, and I didn't want to come home to find Ken gone for drinks or whatever with Sean.
I snacked on carrots and oranges all night, so I didn't feel completely ready for sex, but we did it anyway. Not the best time we've had recently, but it was good, and they can't all be the best sex ever.
Wednesday - Did a lot of work because I didn't have much choice in the matter. Ran home after work, picked up my and Ken's workout clothes, and then headed over to the gym. He went directly from work to the gym, and only got there about 5-10 minutes after me. I did my workout, which totally sucked. Cross-trainer, with the awesome music from spin class behind me convinced me that I could do level 12. I couldn't. I stayed on level 12, but had gone down to 75 RPMs (instead of my usual 80-85+)...only burned about 545 calories. Also did bicep and shoulder work, and resolved to do a second set of pushups and crunches at home. Headed over to Henry's for Double Ad Wendesday, but there were no good sales. Still spent $7 on some essentials (brown rice, TVP), and some junky treats (pizza crust and sour cream). Ken was at the store when I got home, and there was a message from Marie and Chris Mack on the phone. Gave Marie directions, and was insulted by Irish, who was concerned because we might try to force tofu on him, and since he's a straight man coming into an apartment shared by 3 gay men, lord knows we'd try to rape him all night long. I asked Ken about inviting Chris, but he got uncomfortable and said he'd rather not.
Marie and Irish showed up a little after American Idol started. Stayed until a little after 11. It was a good time, though not the "ice cream" I had been expecting, and I was ready for them to leave after Idol.
When Ken and I finally laid down, I regressed again. He was snuggled all around me, which I usually find essential, when I suddenly didn't want to be touched by him. This wasn't his fault, as he's been nothing but wonderful, so I just laid there with my skin burning off. Going back to the morning of the 28th, and I still can't reconcile things. I'm going to see a counselor. I just need to figure out when.
My constant regression isn't Ken's problem, though, so I still did my best to cuddle him when he had a bad dream or the like.
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