Worst Side Effect Ever
Mar. 7th, 2021 08:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thepnutgalleryUp early and vaguely dissatisfied with my day yesterday. I think it was just that same swirling around GHB thing I did yesterday. I beat off for a few more hours, even ignored Tim the first couple times he called. I just didn't want any contact. I did eventually answer, and he cautioned again about backsliding into addiction. I'm still not really sure how that would work, tbh. I don't really get how drinking to blackout or trying to get so stoned I don't know my own name would lead me back to GHB. Maybe I'm just being pedantic, since I fully admit these are not healthy hobbies and frequently have collateral damage of their own.
I took a break from my efforts - I could already tell they were not going to be successful, and maybe that's good? Cleaned a little instead. Not much, just litter box, trash, etc. Even tried to vacuum, but it still seemed off. I'm not really sure what to do with it. There are vacuum repair places, but what if it's just got something stuck, and if I just looked a little harder, it would be obvious? I bought extra 3.5 mm jacks so I can keep using Current to make money, and I was going to buy weed lube and vegan salmon, but my budget just laughed and laughed. I also texted FHA since we haven't seen each other in a while, but he's not doing in-person visits right now. Tami said she had some cash for their rent and wanted to know how much. Despite my night job (on indefinite hiatus), I'm always uncomfortable asking people for money. I get that I was tipsy, but near as I could tell, they were short $800 last month. Didn't help having to look for cash, Venmo, and Zelle. This is also why I could never make it as a solo practitioner. Having to not just send people bills, but then harass them (within the law) to pay... Let's not.
I crashed early in the evening and woke up around 10. Popped a Seroquel and updated last-minute video game stuff for the week while I waited for it to kick in. I set one of the Earning games on my phone, hoping that it would count the hours for points, and I also beat off. I had just a smidge of bitterness that I didn't film it.
I took a break from my efforts - I could already tell they were not going to be successful, and maybe that's good? Cleaned a little instead. Not much, just litter box, trash, etc. Even tried to vacuum, but it still seemed off. I'm not really sure what to do with it. There are vacuum repair places, but what if it's just got something stuck, and if I just looked a little harder, it would be obvious? I bought extra 3.5 mm jacks so I can keep using Current to make money, and I was going to buy weed lube and vegan salmon, but my budget just laughed and laughed. I also texted FHA since we haven't seen each other in a while, but he's not doing in-person visits right now. Tami said she had some cash for their rent and wanted to know how much. Despite my night job (on indefinite hiatus), I'm always uncomfortable asking people for money. I get that I was tipsy, but near as I could tell, they were short $800 last month. Didn't help having to look for cash, Venmo, and Zelle. This is also why I could never make it as a solo practitioner. Having to not just send people bills, but then harass them (within the law) to pay... Let's not.
I crashed early in the evening and woke up around 10. Popped a Seroquel and updated last-minute video game stuff for the week while I waited for it to kick in. I set one of the Earning games on my phone, hoping that it would count the hours for points, and I also beat off. I had just a smidge of bitterness that I didn't film it.
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