Zhuangzi Horror
Feb. 3rd, 2021 11:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thepnutgalleryJulian tagged me in. Some political family(?) post bashing Biden and worshiping Trump. They'd started trying to excuse Trump's response to covid, and they'd locked outside commenters. Instead, I typed my reply (with citations) in a message so he could just copy and paste it as his reply. Felt very Cyrano. Carl had already gotten a bunch of eservice done, so I was able to finish early. Last week, the image I'd used had only saved as a web-image, so I hunted it down again and made sure to convert it to a jpg. 
#priorities
I trimmed my beard, and I should have cut my hair, too, but I just wet & combed it instead. I also took the leap and reached out to the AA's to train them or whatever we're doing. That, of course, has been the hesitation. I have no idea how in-depth I'm supposed to go on these things, and I don't even remember if Din was doing the paralegal stuff and I was just supposed to take claims or we're both supposed to give both. There was a joke in the meeting because Lynelle a tinder, which meant something entirely different than the dating app. She's obviously never heard Kelly's rendition. Kathy noted that she wanted us to come up with 5 songs we can't live without by March 4. There are easier ways to get me to explode. And today she wanted to know our dream car. I thought it would have been against the rules to say fantastical mechanical animals like you'd see on a merry-go-round, so I settled on solar cars. I'm not a car gay.
JJD had been digging into retro systems like Leslie Knope. He made spreadsheets for the various games to try. It was very flattering, really, because he had a whole section for my recommendations, and copied word for word my review of each. I didn't hear back from Hawk or Sea Invaders, but I did reinstall Sea Invaders a couple times just to play through the 200 ads and get money for the company. And I'll do their upgraded reward thing for a couple bucks a month. Right now, the goal is just to get them to finish the game. The game goes to Stage 5 on Normal and Stage 1 on Hard and there's a couple Bonus Modes that say "Coming Soon!" I'm having sort of the opposite problem that I had when I was more fucked up. I have a huge list of projects and hobbies to get to. It was getting kind of late (for me), but I figured we should try for the Open Battle.net just to make sure we could. We could not. I learned that it's probably something to do with my ports needing to be forwarded but I definitely did not have the energy to address it.
I'd been lax on my beating off 1/day to keep everything going, so I did tonight and even popped open some poppers. It was trippy. A long time ago when I used to use poppers all the time, I kind of remember there being times where my thoughts shifted dark. Really dark. I might even have made a post about it, but I couldn't find it when I looked. When I was using, there were so many nights laying in the darkness, unable to sleep and massively fucked up. I started having like...flashbacks or something. And this was vivid enough that I started to worry that I'd wake up back on 33rd or in the hospital or something, still using. The sort of thing that makes me wonder if I'm a butterfly dreaming I'm a man? Or a bowling ball dreaming I'm a plate of sashimi?
#priorities
I trimmed my beard, and I should have cut my hair, too, but I just wet & combed it instead. I also took the leap and reached out to the AA's to train them or whatever we're doing. That, of course, has been the hesitation. I have no idea how in-depth I'm supposed to go on these things, and I don't even remember if Din was doing the paralegal stuff and I was just supposed to take claims or we're both supposed to give both. There was a joke in the meeting because Lynelle a tinder, which meant something entirely different than the dating app. She's obviously never heard Kelly's rendition. Kathy noted that she wanted us to come up with 5 songs we can't live without by March 4. There are easier ways to get me to explode. And today she wanted to know our dream car. I thought it would have been against the rules to say fantastical mechanical animals like you'd see on a merry-go-round, so I settled on solar cars. I'm not a car gay.
JJD had been digging into retro systems like Leslie Knope. He made spreadsheets for the various games to try. It was very flattering, really, because he had a whole section for my recommendations, and copied word for word my review of each. I didn't hear back from Hawk or Sea Invaders, but I did reinstall Sea Invaders a couple times just to play through the 200 ads and get money for the company. And I'll do their upgraded reward thing for a couple bucks a month. Right now, the goal is just to get them to finish the game. The game goes to Stage 5 on Normal and Stage 1 on Hard and there's a couple Bonus Modes that say "Coming Soon!" I'm having sort of the opposite problem that I had when I was more fucked up. I have a huge list of projects and hobbies to get to. It was getting kind of late (for me), but I figured we should try for the Open Battle.net just to make sure we could. We could not. I learned that it's probably something to do with my ports needing to be forwarded but I definitely did not have the energy to address it.
I'd been lax on my beating off 1/day to keep everything going, so I did tonight and even popped open some poppers. It was trippy. A long time ago when I used to use poppers all the time, I kind of remember there being times where my thoughts shifted dark. Really dark. I might even have made a post about it, but I couldn't find it when I looked. When I was using, there were so many nights laying in the darkness, unable to sleep and massively fucked up. I started having like...flashbacks or something. And this was vivid enough that I started to worry that I'd wake up back on 33rd or in the hospital or something, still using. The sort of thing that makes me wonder if I'm a butterfly dreaming I'm a man? Or a bowling ball dreaming I'm a plate of sashimi?
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}