One Man's Riot...

[thepnutgallery]

I felt *much* better on waking, at least initially. The extra energy didn't last that long. Maybe I need to start using Tressant Suprême. Kind of running out of other options. We didn't have a ton of eservice, but it still took me the full hour they estimate. I didn't even try to connect to the meeting with my webcam, opting instead to use my phone. Added bonus that I could keep working throughout. The meeting talked a lot about potential and recent "changes," and I got to note how absolutely wonderful it is that ADI is so open to suggestions about how to make things more efficient, easier, and just...better. I also sang Kathy Troccoli's hit, since no one else had any clue what I was talking about. I had no idea that 1) Ms. Troccoli was a Christian singer, and 2) that the track had been offered to Taylor Dayne first. For all that my memory competes with Swiss cheese for holes, musical/lyrical things tend to stick better. Like most(?) people, I'm a kinesthetic learner, but even something as simple as saying something out loud usually helps me retain it. I deleted a few thousand old emails from yahoo, both memories I didn't need and gray/grey mail that I'd never gotten around to deleting. I'd mentioned in the Teams chat that I had pdfs of the core 5th Edition books, but couldn't find them. And one of the holes in my Swiss cheese of a memory was our DM's name, so I couldn't even find it that way. I texted Patrick and he didn't have the books, but gave me clues to Anthony's name. Kind of a surprising one for me to forget, tbh. I found the books and sent a copy of the PHB to everyone. JJD messaged me later with another site for finding gaming groups, though most of these were literally pay-to-play. Like, $10-15/session. Oh, capitalism.

Tim texted and called because Trumpets were rampaging in the capitol. Poor timing on my FB jailing, but honestly, if I wasn't in FB Jail already, I'd probably have gotten thrown in. Amazing that so many Trumpets not only had no problem with the insurrection, but were bummed it wasn't more successful. I hopped onto Twitter instead, and while I like Twitter's Community Guidelines more, it's always a struggle to shorten my comments. I'm verbose. Any day now, I'm gonna get back to filming, but it obviously wouldn't have been appropriate today. Someone commented about that on Twitter, and I noted that, not to be too pedantic or Debbie Downer about it, but there's something awful happening literally at every instant of every day somewhere in the world.

Lady Miss Friday pulled me away from the computer after work, but that's okay since I have a phone. Updated my journal and smoked, though it didn't seem to affect me at all. I kept thinking about that tidbit of GHB I have left. It probably wouldn't be enough to OD on and make a mess, even if I took it all at once. But I reminded myself that it's at the bottom of my arsenal. Much like cutting is a last resort, that is, too. I was going to hop over to Ralph's and buy vodka; better than using, right? And it being the day of a failed insurrection made a good excuse. But that's just what it would be: an excuse. One of the counselors in rehab said one of the most dangerous phrases for an addict is "why not?" I've had that moment so many, many times, and clear evidence of "why not" almost as many times. Fortunately, it was late enough that I convinced myself to take pills instead. I briefly tried to beat off to keep the system going, but between being so tired and my pills making it hard to cum, gave up.