Feedback Loop
Sep. 20th, 2020 12:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thepnutgalleryI was just a little hungover when I woke up, and had planned to literally just spend the whole day staring at Lady Miss Friday, but Tim asked me to visit. I dragged myself down there, we walked Pupple, and talked some about therapy goals and his friend Linda. She's a fair weather progressive, and I could feel my fangs itching by the time he decided to move on. He talked some about my potential therapy goals, and mentioned that I'm a *very* difficult patient. Since I have no poker face whatsoever, the split second grimace I made drove his point home. We did end on something of a high note, as I mentioned again how much positivity I borrow from animals, and he pointed out it's a feedback loop.
Back at home, I finally got to lay next to Lady Miss Friday and stare at her. I had missed a call from a Private number, which I always figure is Julian. It wasn't, but we talked for about an hour anyway. He was very nervous that we didn't fuck enough for my previously insatiable appetite during his visit. Ultimately, he and I are both broken people, but this trip was steps towards healing for both of us, and a demonstration of how much we've grown. He also asked again for the $1600, but I pushed again for him to use living at home as an opportunity to get on his feet, become a vet tech, etc. He wants out now, not two years from now, but he's been there 4 years, so if he'd just done that to begin with....
Terry messaged me in the evening, but I was behind on journaling, and didn't want to risk being hungover tomorrow. Potmates had a B2G1 on edibles again, but I abstained to save money. I started looking at wax pens for shatter and dabbing and the like, but asked Leeper for advice. Apparently dabbing isn't much stronger than the THC carts I've been smoking, and can be dangerous. I took breaks from journaling to scan for research chemicals that would work for me, but kept my priorities in order. I finished my Friday entry, got most of Saturday done, and took my pill and a half at 8. It was a good day, and a good weekend, for all that I might have gotten close to a few whirlpools.
Back at home, I finally got to lay next to Lady Miss Friday and stare at her. I had missed a call from a Private number, which I always figure is Julian. It wasn't, but we talked for about an hour anyway. He was very nervous that we didn't fuck enough for my previously insatiable appetite during his visit. Ultimately, he and I are both broken people, but this trip was steps towards healing for both of us, and a demonstration of how much we've grown. He also asked again for the $1600, but I pushed again for him to use living at home as an opportunity to get on his feet, become a vet tech, etc. He wants out now, not two years from now, but he's been there 4 years, so if he'd just done that to begin with....
Terry messaged me in the evening, but I was behind on journaling, and didn't want to risk being hungover tomorrow. Potmates had a B2G1 on edibles again, but I abstained to save money. I started looking at wax pens for shatter and dabbing and the like, but asked Leeper for advice. Apparently dabbing isn't much stronger than the THC carts I've been smoking, and can be dangerous. I took breaks from journaling to scan for research chemicals that would work for me, but kept my priorities in order. I finished my Friday entry, got most of Saturday done, and took my pill and a half at 8. It was a good day, and a good weekend, for all that I might have gotten close to a few whirlpools.
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