Horses to Water

[thepnutgallery]

Despite having 3 drinks in the course of 4 hours the night before, I had a slight hangover the next day. I headed to work around 11. It was good to see Lucky, and get caught up with Dave. Also, our sex was unusually passionate.

I was doing a little housework when Peter messaged me, wanting to come over and be dominated. I hadn't talked to Peter since our disastrous 3 way with Julian, when he'd all but pushed me off the bed because he was fucking Julian. Peter is a good lay; our strongest connection was in bed. So in spite of the weird unresolved anger/issues, I had him over. I'm not a dom, but I can apparently play one on TV. Cuffed his hands behind his back, spanked his balls and ass, fucked him. We never talked about the 3 way, though I did ask about his relationship. The last couple times I've seen Peter he's had a faraway look, but he's unwilling or unable to say what's on his mind.

I tried to nap after he left, but sleep wasn't coming. A friend asked me to try to contact Richard, my former houseguest, as he was making suicidal posts on FB. He didn't respond to me, and I asked another friend as well. No response.

Another online friend made dramatic comments about no one being there for him. I messaged him, he complained about his job. Someone else asked him to call, then he made a suicidal post.

Given the futility of trying to help people, and the vague anger at it not being enough, and being so tired, I came pretty close to not making it out. But I'd already invited Dave, FHA, & Tomy over, so I put on some music, had a drink, and felt much better once they got there.

I saw lots of friends in line, but declined cutting with them. FHA & Tomy had gotten there before us, and there was a group of friends behind them. I asked if we could stand with them, most of them were fine, one exceptionally drunk fellow was not. He tried to come for me, claimed to be a lawyer, but was either too drunk to remember his Bar number or bluffing.

It was an awkward night. I saw Alex, who was visiting, as well as a couple other friends. Todd was there with other Todd. Travis was there with Pickles. A couple I've met, but who's names I can't remember, hit on me. They were on drugs.

FHA was sober, and even in my drunken state, I could tell lots of people were worse than me. They left early, I had a couple more drinks, but called it a night around 1:30. I was super proud of myself for leaving my headphones in the car, but then ended up holding my phone up to my ear to listen to music instead. Priorities.