Moving On Now; Moving Fast.

[thepnutgallery]

Maybe not that fast. But definitely moving. I still think about Tim constantly, and it is still sometimes in that very dangerous, addict mindset. But it's more often with a sort of muted, fading fondness - a good dream about eating giant marshmallows, but then you wake up and have no pillow. Every time I meet someone new, or make strides in my life, I think how I couldn't do that if I had a partner. Of course, it's that same thought process that makes me think it would be safe to text him, to have just one drink. I wonder if I'd have been like this with Ken, had our relationship not ended with such vitriol.

Apparently all the work I'd been missing the day before arrived, because I barely made it out to the gym for my break. I had a really decent workout, though my elbows don't like arms days. Scooter and Norman came over at 6. Norman seemed distracted, but Scooter and I are really finding our groove. Michael Leeper came over after, to help me burn some porn to DVDs for the trip I'm taking in March. Since it would take too much time for that, he set up a home network for me, and I'll do it when I get back. We mostly talked a lot while I packed. I get the feeling he's struggling with some things, but isn't comfortable talking about them in their entirety, or maybe hasn't concluded them enough to do so. It was nice to see him, at any rate, and we're going to try to get together when I get back.

I'm terrible at packing. Um...jockstraps....toothbrush....I guess some pants....that's pretty much packing. But as I travel more, I'm learning what's vital. I hopped online briefly. Tim wasn't on, and I got hit up by a tweeker. Perfectly willing to have someone over, but not willing to do the work to get a tweeker there, I just made some quinoa and went to bed.