Varied Recollections
Jan. 10th, 2013 12:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thepnutgalleryAlmost went home on my lunch break, but hit the gym instead. Legs, biceps, abs. Lots of biceps, but I probably still won't be sore tomorrow. I texted Tim, asking how he was feeling. He was better, and had been working on his boat. Successfully resisted the urge to get sammich fixins on the way home, and had a Nice Leafy Green Salad instead. I saw him online when I got home. Apparently much better. I got hit up by a guy I'd been supposed to hook up with a while ago, asked him to text me and hopped in the shower. Getting cleaned up wasn't happening, but he never texted, so no worries. Tim called - he was at Tootie's and wanted to come over. Sure.
He opened the dried fruit platter he'd bought me, so I didn't throw it away and didn't re-gift it. I guess I at least don't need to deal with a loaf of bread worth of sammiches *and* a fuckton of sweetened dried fruit. He has a slightly different recollection of the sex party, and called me "honey" when I first started to get upset. Apparently we were still clothed in a small group, people started touching each other. I positioned myself between him and the two other guys, and it got very awkward. So much so that he almost left. But then he thought I would've been upset about that, so..stayed and fucked anyway? He reiterated that he tries to look at the guest lists, so he doesn't go to the parties that I'm scheduled for. I reiterated that not physically seeing him there doesn't help me. I also told him I'm still feeling guilty when I'm fucking other people. Thinking back, this is just so typically me. I attach, and never ever ever let go, even when it hurts, and even when it's unhealthy. Very unhealthy. He doesn't want to upset me, but spoke very generally about things he's not willing to do. When pressed, things like avoid sex parties. Since he was still sick (apparently, when he was online, he wasn't Looking), he kept his distance. I went to bed after he left.
He opened the dried fruit platter he'd bought me, so I didn't throw it away and didn't re-gift it. I guess I at least don't need to deal with a loaf of bread worth of sammiches *and* a fuckton of sweetened dried fruit. He has a slightly different recollection of the sex party, and called me "honey" when I first started to get upset. Apparently we were still clothed in a small group, people started touching each other. I positioned myself between him and the two other guys, and it got very awkward. So much so that he almost left. But then he thought I would've been upset about that, so..stayed and fucked anyway? He reiterated that he tries to look at the guest lists, so he doesn't go to the parties that I'm scheduled for. I reiterated that not physically seeing him there doesn't help me. I also told him I'm still feeling guilty when I'm fucking other people. Thinking back, this is just so typically me. I attach, and never ever ever let go, even when it hurts, and even when it's unhealthy. Very unhealthy. He doesn't want to upset me, but spoke very generally about things he's not willing to do. When pressed, things like avoid sex parties. Since he was still sick (apparently, when he was online, he wasn't Looking), he kept his distance. I went to bed after he left.
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