Sliding In

[thepnutgallery]

Woke up while it was still dark, and I was still drunk. Where am I? What's this pressure on my arm? Oh, right. It was about 5:30, and I had work, so I grabbed my stuff and went back to my place. Sleep wasn't coming, so I had some cereal, watched some porn. I know it always makes my hangover worse, but I didn't want to be walking around the office injured, hungover, and with a boner all day. Erin was out sick, and the box with 3 weeks of scanning arrived from the Sacramento office. I was queasy most of the day, but I held it together. Got everything scanned, but didn't get anything entered.

Adam Villareal messaged me on Scruff, asking for a ride to the airport. I certainly wasn't going to the gym today, but he hadn't messaged me that he was coming to town, that he was here, or wanted to hang out with me, and I'm not his taxi. Went home and started a batch of seitan instead. Victor, one of the black gents from yesterday wanted to fuck, but I'm at work. After work? We'll see how I feel. Bret Gerber also corresponded; he and I have been supposed to hook up for years, and it just hasn't worked for one reason or another. The one time we did have lunch and made out, there were definite sparks.

Texting with Todd, he's concerned that my self-destructive habits have amped up. I don't have an answer for him.

Bret was much later than he expected to be at work, which was fine because I needed the extra time. Redressed my wound, such as I was able. I don't have any gauze or tape, so I used paper towels and a brace. Bret asked about it a couple times, but I waived him off. We had a really good, if basic time. I blew him, he rimmed me, fucked me missionary, rimmed me more, then fucked me again. I even came for him. Not bad for my 2nd shot of the day. The sex was almost like being on poppers the whole time. He's got a boyfriend, and they might be closing their relationship soon. Yay! I scooted in just in time.

I saw a post from Kasey that the cast was going to Martini's for showtunes night, so texted FHA. He was going to be there around 8:30, which then got moved to 9. Almost stayed home reading old journal entries, but dragged myself out. It was a really fun time - Kate was there, and we sang and danced around the place. Hearing her sing to her kid was crazy sweet. Hearing Durwood recount his mom's lullaby "Me So Horny" was hilarious. As it turns out, FHA et al did indeed come by on Saturday after Bear Night, and even woke me up. I have no recollection of this. He asked about the sex party at Adam's place, which was weird, because he obviously at least scanned the entry to know that it happened, but apparently didn't get any of the details. He shrugged off Tim's behavior, saying "He was just being Tim." This resonated with me. Tim is looking after Tim's interests, in all situations. I need to look after me. I stayed after with them, until it was just me, Anthony & Durwood, then gave them a lift back to their car.

I meant to go right to bed - it was late, and I knew I had a long day tomorrow as well. I blinked and it was 12:30. Finally went to bed, but had trouble sleeping. A feeling of being stalked grew inside as soon as I turned the lights off. It carried into my dreams, I woke up in cold sweats a couple times. Victor called at 1:45, but I'm not about to answer a tweeker's phone call.

I never heard from Tim, not that I was expecting to, and didn't see him online, either.