Guilt, Jealousy, Sex Party
Jan. 3rd, 2013 04:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thepnutgalleryWoke up with my alarm at 6:30. I did try to go back to sleep, but that wasn't forthcoming. Work was almost painfully slow all day. I think I scanned about 10 files, and that was it. At least, up until the end of the day, when we got 10 new groups at 4:30. Some gent called me while I was at the gym, wanting to get together after work. I can do that. He texted again on the way home, and I thought he might flake, but got cleaned up anyway. Thick - I had trouble getting a condom over it. He was very happy, and wants to take me as his date to some swanky party early Saturday evening.
I logged in - had completely forgotten there was a sex party tonight. That requires a bit more preparation. I've been on the later end of things lately, and really didn't want to get angry with myself for this, so I got ready early. I saw Tim online. I managed to not message him, or text him, and ask him if he wanted to come - he wouldn't do the same for me. But I did message the host, and instruct him to approve the invite if Tim requested it. A couple seconds later, Tim's name appeared on the list. A few minutes after that, Tim texted. He'd just noticed that we were signed up to go to the same party, and wondered if I was planning to go. He keeps suggesting, and I keep shooting down, the notion that if I just don't actually see him fucking other people, even if I know it's happening, it won't be an issue for me. I have no idea how to get this through to him, since directly telling him isn't working.
The party was at the Sheraton & Marina by the airport, so parking is a bitch. I had about a 10 min walk from my car, and was still there a good 20 min before the next earliest person. The host fucked me - he was huge- I fucked the host, and then someone knocked on the door. Francisco - he was at the sex party with Tim and I where I shot my load early on, he was the messy kid at Collen's party getting rimmed in the jacuzzi, and I've seen him a couple times get turned away at the door to Rich's for being too drunk. He had a really sweet friend with him, though, who took an immediate shine to me. The friend fucked me while the host fucked Francisco. I guess Francisco wasn't prepared for quite how big the dick was, because they took a minute to clean up. All three took turns fucking me. I am really really really not attracted to Francisco, or the permanent scowl, or his aversion to kissing, or anything about him. But I'm not about to ruin the vibe at a sex party but turning one of the very very few people there down.
Another couple guys showed up, very very clearly on drugs. One primarily a top - he fucked me, and I when I wouldn't lick his rank pits, called me a pussy. The other was primarily a bottom, since he couldn't get hard, but was also messy. Like, 3 times had to get up and clean up, and another layer of sheets had to be taken off, too. I talked to him at one point - I brought my stuff with me, and offered to let him use it. Because being in his shoes would suck. He seemed to know what to do, and declined. The two latin boys left. A *very* fit looking Mike showed up, and kept whispering something to me. I would later find out that he was whispering for me to call him Logan. Oh, that's right. He's crazy paranoid. Mike and the host fucked, I fucked the other bottom, then the pits-top fucked me while Mike and the host dp'd the other bottom, even though he kept stopping them. Dammit, I could do that, and wouldn't stop you.
Tim never showed. When I texted him, he said he was on his way. Um...the party started 2 hrs ago? It was around midnight when the host came, so the party was over. Chatting after, I knew the bottom back when Nick lived with me, but the bottom was sober then. Times and people change. Mike had been going to give me a ride back to my car, but Tim texted that he was at the hotel. I met him instead. I felt a brief pang of guilt, but squashed it. It wasn't my responsibility to get him there in time, and he wouldn't think twice about me if he were going to one. He gave me a ride to my car, and we talked for a long while.
Among the usual boat, Tom, life stuff, he mentioned that maybe it really isn't fair of him to keep me close. He doesn't treat me like a friend. Those are not Friend Hugs he's giving, and it's tough to be just friends when you've got a special pet name for each other, when you're spending the night, etc.
It was getting to be 1:30, and I had work the next day, so I finally just told him I needed to get going, and he could come over or not. He came over, we had sex. Not as good as that time after our brief separation, but pretty damn good.
I logged in - had completely forgotten there was a sex party tonight. That requires a bit more preparation. I've been on the later end of things lately, and really didn't want to get angry with myself for this, so I got ready early. I saw Tim online. I managed to not message him, or text him, and ask him if he wanted to come - he wouldn't do the same for me. But I did message the host, and instruct him to approve the invite if Tim requested it. A couple seconds later, Tim's name appeared on the list. A few minutes after that, Tim texted. He'd just noticed that we were signed up to go to the same party, and wondered if I was planning to go. He keeps suggesting, and I keep shooting down, the notion that if I just don't actually see him fucking other people, even if I know it's happening, it won't be an issue for me. I have no idea how to get this through to him, since directly telling him isn't working.
The party was at the Sheraton & Marina by the airport, so parking is a bitch. I had about a 10 min walk from my car, and was still there a good 20 min before the next earliest person. The host fucked me - he was huge- I fucked the host, and then someone knocked on the door. Francisco - he was at the sex party with Tim and I where I shot my load early on, he was the messy kid at Collen's party getting rimmed in the jacuzzi, and I've seen him a couple times get turned away at the door to Rich's for being too drunk. He had a really sweet friend with him, though, who took an immediate shine to me. The friend fucked me while the host fucked Francisco. I guess Francisco wasn't prepared for quite how big the dick was, because they took a minute to clean up. All three took turns fucking me. I am really really really not attracted to Francisco, or the permanent scowl, or his aversion to kissing, or anything about him. But I'm not about to ruin the vibe at a sex party but turning one of the very very few people there down.
Another couple guys showed up, very very clearly on drugs. One primarily a top - he fucked me, and I when I wouldn't lick his rank pits, called me a pussy. The other was primarily a bottom, since he couldn't get hard, but was also messy. Like, 3 times had to get up and clean up, and another layer of sheets had to be taken off, too. I talked to him at one point - I brought my stuff with me, and offered to let him use it. Because being in his shoes would suck. He seemed to know what to do, and declined. The two latin boys left. A *very* fit looking Mike showed up, and kept whispering something to me. I would later find out that he was whispering for me to call him Logan. Oh, that's right. He's crazy paranoid. Mike and the host fucked, I fucked the other bottom, then the pits-top fucked me while Mike and the host dp'd the other bottom, even though he kept stopping them. Dammit, I could do that, and wouldn't stop you.
Tim never showed. When I texted him, he said he was on his way. Um...the party started 2 hrs ago? It was around midnight when the host came, so the party was over. Chatting after, I knew the bottom back when Nick lived with me, but the bottom was sober then. Times and people change. Mike had been going to give me a ride back to my car, but Tim texted that he was at the hotel. I met him instead. I felt a brief pang of guilt, but squashed it. It wasn't my responsibility to get him there in time, and he wouldn't think twice about me if he were going to one. He gave me a ride to my car, and we talked for a long while.
Among the usual boat, Tom, life stuff, he mentioned that maybe it really isn't fair of him to keep me close. He doesn't treat me like a friend. Those are not Friend Hugs he's giving, and it's tough to be just friends when you've got a special pet name for each other, when you're spending the night, etc.
It was getting to be 1:30, and I had work the next day, so I finally just told him I needed to get going, and he could come over or not. He came over, we had sex. Not as good as that time after our brief separation, but pretty damn good.
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