Argh.

[thepnutgallery]

I haven't had a day like today in a while. I'm not in my right head (no, I'm not in my left one, either). I woke up at 4am this morning and COULD NOT go back to sleep. I'd have gotten up, but everytime I tried to, Ken would make some sleepy sound and grab my arm. Seeing as how I had no idea what it was I was going to do, I opted to just lay there. It didn't take long for several insecurities to begin assaulting my brain.
I know a couple people in a couple different situations who are/were cheating on their significant others, or being cheated on. I don't want to be one of them. I thought I had this thing licked, what with my policy of "I don't fucking care, just tell me." This only works if 1) your other actually engages in extra-curricular activities, and 2) they tell you. If either of these don't happen, you still end up suspicious at 4am.

I love my baby, and I believe he loves me, but people do all sorts of stupid things despite, and sometimes even for, love. "The road to hell" and all that.

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[redefining-self.livejournal.com]

She wouldn't admit it, and possibly doesn't actually think this, but I think I came just 'that' close to ruining (or at least damaging) a current friendship because of love. It's important that I think it and can adjust accordingly.

But it was hard. Love makes us do really and truly stupid things. I have, in fact, ruined a friendship over love. It's one thing to be a huge a$$hole and ruin a friendship. It's another to think (however incorrectly) that you are trying to do right and in the end you were just a huge a$$hole in disguise.

I've been there - 4am, wide awake, want to get up but don't want to disturb my partner. Longest few hours of my life, everytime it happened.