(no subject)

[thepnutgallery]

Realistically, I'm less concerned about G specifically than I am about what it is I might be looking for from G. Which is the same thing I look for from alcohol, from music, from dancing, from sex, from cutting, from burning, from bingeing/purging. Which is...what? If I could figure that out, I could go after it. G didn't really get me high, and I find myself thinking "well, if I just did enough of it, surely that would take me there."

I was drinking on Friday and Saturday night before I took the stuff. I got frustrated that I wasn't feeling it on Saturday, so I poured myself another drink. I have read this is very dangerous. I don't care. Go big or go home, everything.