That Was Fast

[thepnutgallery]

I've been seeing Tim for about a month and a half now. With few exceptions, I haven't slept with anyone else, and to the best of my knowledge, neither has he. I have seen him every day for the past month, because I've been helping him with the boat he's been working on. There has been talk of pay for this, but largely, it's been a labor of love. He encourages me in all areas - he wants me to study for my remaining classes, to really show the people that have looked down on me through law school that I deserve to be here, would like to see me perform, etc.
He has sometimes referred to me as his boyfriend, and I have occasionally slipped and talked about "when I was single." We have been in relationship limbo, or as First Husband Anthony calls it, Timbo. We had a couple discussions about this over the weekend. Ultimately, I am not ready to stop being a slut, and I can't begin a relationship with it being open. I feel guilty when I step out, and I do not like when he does. He seems comfortable staying in Timbo. I am not. I cannot be around him and NOT want to be his boyfriend. I cannot be his boyfriend and NOT mourn the loss of my singledom. As I predicted a while back, I will spend a couple nights or weeks drinking and crying and hopefully get back to normal.

Comments

[lizetta.livejournal.com]

Perhaps you are accepting too many things as "truth" simple because that is how it has been in the past. You might find it worthwhile to let go things that you are sure to be true. You'd be surprised at what you find about yourself when you take off the masks we are wear.

[emmeryrums.livejournal.com]

i want to come drink and cry w u one night

[npgmaverick.livejournal.com]

U know how 2 reach me when U wanna talk.