Anthony & Ken

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Not really sure what to do about that. Here's the way I like to think that things went down; I broke up with Anthony. Despite my best intentions, lack of malice, etc. this breaks his heart. To protect his heart, Anthony says some very not nice things about me, and he does this on a regular basis. He mentions several times that he's accepted that our relationship is over, and starts dating other boys...I get the feeling that I'm kind of a backup for him. If things aren't going well in his dating life, he can always come back to me. For my part, I don't mind the things he says, understanding that this is one of the prices paid for breaking someone's heart. I'm whoring it up big time, especially after getting onto A4A. At first, Anthony places the requirement that I not sleep with anyone else the same day I sleep with him, but then I've become such a big whore that he no longer wishes to sleep with me at all. Neither of these is really a big deal for me; I like having sex with Anthony, but if he chooses not to, that's okay, too. Also, with everything he said to me, and his shift closer to Aimee, I find that I've taken a couple steps back in terms of my trust level with him. Sexually/relationship-wise, life is good from where I am, except for worries about STDs, which still haven't cleared up, but will hopefully be resolved in late May. There's a little awkwardness with boys who want to form a relationship with me, and I end up breaking a few hearts, but I blame them for getting attached when I make it very clear that I'm not looking to.

Enter Ken. Ken contacts me off of A4A, and we chat back and forth for a couple of weeks, first on A4A, then on Yahoo! Messenger, strictly as friends, until we finally decide to meet. He stands me up, and seems to avoid me for a couple of days, and finally messages me apologizing and we set up another date. He's still sick on the second date, but we talk on the phone for about an hour, and set up a third date for Wednesday, March 7th. We get together at his friend Justin's place, he makes me pretty pretty Cosmopolitans, we have great sex to Conjure One, I sleep over and DON'T feel weird in the morning. I spend HUGE portions of my weekend with him, and I've only slept in my bed once this week. I vascillate between super crushing and skepticism over that emotion, and skepticism seems to be winning, although I do like him A LOT....

So, here's where I stand: I've heard Anthony say enough mean things to me, and tell me enough times that he's accepted that our relationship is irreconcileably destroyed that I think I've moved on as well, sad as it makes me to say that, especially since he doesn't always give off the "I'm Over You" vibe, and instead gives off the "Is There Still Hope?" vibe.
I have no idea about Ken. I'm reasonably certain that "Forever" is not in the cards with him, even with a non-monogamous relationship, but it's a very fun relationship for now, and I certainly feel stronger about him than I have anyone since Anthony. He's also the best kisser since Anthony, and I enjoy nuzzling him, since I hate the word "cuddle". Like I said, I vascillate.