What's For Dinner?

[thepnutgallery]

Tuesday - I had my lunch with my faculty advisor, Rob DeKoven. Having eaten so much the night before, I opted against eating breakfast in anticipation of this lunch. I had requested a vegan lunch, and when I asked about a vegan lunch, it even had my name on it! Stellar...except when I got it down there, the sammich had cheese on it. There's no way of knowing about the cookies, but I imagine, given the sammich, that they weren't as well. Like everytime, I don't really care that the lunch wasn't vegan. I care that I was set up with an expectation that was denied. This particular expectation means a lot to me - when there's vegan things to eat, it almost seems an acceptance of me. Anway, the lunch itself was extremely informative - way more than I thought it was going to be. Got home a little later than I thought I was going to...don't know why I always forget that class gets out at 4. Ken asked how my day was, and was all manly telling me what I did wrong. I asked how his day was, and it had been rough. He'd been talked down to by a couple of jr underwriters...I think one of them might have been right. Ouch. I was supportive, though, rather than telling him that. He had noticed some light red bumps on his torso recently...sensitive, though not painful...I freaked out a little, and wanted to immediately take a picture and send it to Dennis. He wasn't nearly as worried, and just assumes it's heat rash. Sitting at my computer, researching his symptoms, I can only conclude he's right. He came into the kitchen while I was sitting there, looked through things, and asked "what's for dinner?". I hate when he asks that. He does it in a whiny, child voice, and there is rarely an answer that will satisfy him. I flatly responded "tofu", and he complained that I needed to be nice to him. I told him again that I HATED when he asked me that, and that I'd asked him many many many many many many many many many many many times not to. He told me I needed to be nice to him. We let that be, and drove over to the store.The question of taking Anthony's radio out of his car came up, since he'd wanted me to take it out to safeguard it, and I hadn't, on the basis that we live in a very safe neighborhood. I started talking about it in terms of a criminal defense....he asked what the hell I was talking about. I found this really insulting...everything I was saying was 1) relevant to the matter at hand, and 2) the very thing I'm trying to learn in school. I can't even really explain why I was upset by that, other than not having eaten, but I still am, so that can't be completely it. We fell silent for a bit after that, and when he eventually started talking again, it was to tell me, again that he's right. I don't know why I didn't notice this before, or maybe I did and just didn't call him on it. Whenever we cool down and come back after an argument, it's just him telling me more calmly how right he is. Naturally, we started fighting again...he started telling me what a great guy he was by making dinner for me, and I brought up that I would be doing the dishes, so it was a wash. We didn't say 5 words to each other for the rest of the night. He picked up beans, tomatoes, lettuce at Ralphs, and guac and tortillas at TJs. The food was okay - I ate a little much, but successfully stopped myself from eating absolutely everything. I had given up hope of sex at that point, so I wasn't terribly concerned. He watched the debates, and I did my reading for contracts on the couch across from him. I had a couple drinks, but sobered up faster than I thought - probably due to the food. We seemed to be getting along by the time I went to bed - he came out to let me know he was going to bed, so I joined him, and he complained about gaining weight.
Laying down, I mentioned that I'd missed him that day - I meant in the larger sense, at school and at home, but he apparently thought I meant just at home, and sure enough, chose instead of saying something nice, to say "Well, don't yell at me." I laid there for a moment, but finally asked if he really wanted to make that his response. He didn't respond, we slept on opposite sides of the bed, and I didn't sleep well.