Feb. 22nd, 2017

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Got more caught up at work. Actually, completely caught up, which is a great feeling. Jason from Guybone messaged me - the other guy for my scene tapped out, despite having chemistry with me. It was an awkward position to be put in anyway - I'm casting you with this guy, make him like you. I'm not sure what Jason is still coming down for. If it's more shoots, I don't know why he wouldn't just toss me into that/them, but I offered to find another costar anyway. He was more than a little starstruck that I could get Dayton to shoot. I'm nervous, of course, that he's going to try to cast Dayton in the other shoots and tell me thanks but no thanks. Anxiety is a bitch. But we're tentatively scheduled to shoot on Tuesday.

Hugo had stayed up until 4am. He sent me a message in the morning wishing he was randy and saying #makeHugogreatagain. But when I pressed him for details on his night, just sent the devil emoji. We had tentative plans to hang out after work, he asked if my houseguest would still be living with me and then replied "ummm." I don't know what to make of that, so didn't respond. I looked for him on Grindr after work, but didn't see him so I went home. Ate too many crackers, then got a message from him that he wanted to come over. After dinner. Before dinner. Now. After his laundry. Fucking let me know, okay?

Finally picked him up, we laid down talking and kissing, but not fucking. He supposedly still hasn't had any. He wanted to go to Whole Foods for one last sammich for the flight tomorrow, so I took him there. Tim asked to come over, but it's my last night with Hugo, so no. Back at my place, he talked about his issues with sex - he basically wants to be me, only more sub. Wants to get used by straight guys, be a cumdump, etc. He also wants to get his nose, ears, and teeth done, but expressed shock and dismay that I'd like to have my dick done. He also said he just went out with some straight girlfriends the night before, and stayed up on the roof of some hotel until 2 am. Finally, he asked me to be up early and watching my phone, in case something happened with his Uber and he needed a ride to the airport. I can do that. His friend called and texted a few more times to meet him for dinner, so I dropped him off at home, and he sent me a rainbow of hearts after he left. I'm kind of bummed I didn't get to fuck him one last time, especially since we haven't since Hawaii, but I've been there. I've had a libido so low I wasn't even jerking off, and my pushing would just make things worse.

Kirby got home as I was just getting ready for bed, but I didn't feel social, so I turned off the lights instead.


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