thepnutgallery | How To Help (Reply)

I still gave Juno his shot in the morning - not their fault dad & dad are fighting. But I left the litter boxes for Julian. I reminded myself that much like dogs crave structure from us, my doing all the chores is not good for any parties. Work was slow, but I called Dr. Kahn and left a message. Also asked for a stronger dose. My tolerance builds far too quickly. I hadn't received an update on their fax, I've got my Beneflex card to pay directly, and now that my teeth are (almost) fixed, I can pay for all of this with pre-tax dollars and lower my taxable income. Win-win.

Julian asked me before our fight(s) last night to wake him at 11:30 because his work scheduled him to make up a missed day or something. I plugged his phone in when I woke up, not that it would likely have died anyway. I heard it go off and a few messages being sent, then saw it next to him on the mattress, so I didn't bother to wake him. He slept late - I was out of work and reading next to LMF when I heard him stir. He emptied the Crystal Light pitcher but left it sitting empty on the counter and drank beer. I kept thinking about going out there, but I had no idea what to say or how to act. I remember before I lost the first place on Cleveland that Tim brought a friend over and my place announced my mental state for me. I started looking up how to help an alcoholic partner, even messaged one of a million places for it, but ultimately there's nothing you can do if they flat refuse. And I have no idea what his insurance is, since he's been cagey. I sort of get it. Even though it took the force of the law to get me to rehab, I really had no clue of what options were even available to me. Dave told me to go to rehab, but also told me quit my job, end my lease, put LMF in the pound, get rid of my mice, and put all my stuff in storage before I went. That was obviously unacceptable, but the only other option I could see was to just...stop using. And like any addict, I told myself I could just be more moderate. Other people use G all the time - why not me? I'm sure Julian feels similar about beer.

I finally convinced myself to eat something in the evening. I munched a couple handfuls of soy curls throughout the day and had a bowl of seasoned curls late. Had to remind myself 1) the curls are absurdly low calories and 2) in order to burn calories, you do have to activate your metabolism by eating. Saw Julian feeding the kids and mentioned his work, but he said today's shift was optional. That didn't sound right, but it's his decision. Lady Miss Friday seemed bored and cooped up. I think I'll swap the excess treats from Petco for a bunch of laser pointers, or maybe just add a ton to the next Chewy order? Not sure.