thepnutgallery | Puzzle Pieces (Reply)

I didn't hear Julian's alarm at 6:45 but I gave it until 7am before waking him. He was sleepy and reluctant to wake, but not wanting to cut it close again, up he went when I told him it was after 7. He came back just a little later - Sundays he works at 8:30 instead of 7:30. We'll remember for next time. I was expecting Tim to swing by for his ballot since he'd been quiet all week, but he called me instead. Got him current on my antidepressant/ketamine but didn't go into any of the details on Julian. Foxhole was last night and Tim was the star of the show. Even fucked a guy he fucked years and years ago and neither of them remembered at first. Reunited and it (presumably) felt so good. Pandemic would have been a great time to cut down the total incidence of STIs, come to think of it. Hopefully it did and will. I touched on Julian's apprehension on my friendship with Tim, and while it's largely just a monster under the bed for him, and probably related to a number of other issues he'll need to work through, having this kind of relationship with my exes I suppose is understandably concerning. Especially given the states Tim saw me in over the course of my addiction. Most importantly, we went over the talk show. He had some questions and ideas, but the technical aspect of everything is Greek to me. I'm down to film on a decent phone's camera, and since my finances have calmed down some now that Julian is working, I'm also perfectly fine to invest in whatever equipment we need for it. Just tell me what needs doing and I'll get it done. Most of his questions and suggestions could've been answered by Joey, but he must have forgotten he was included in the conversation, so I messaged the Group Chat for him. He sent a separate suggested synopsis or whatever you call that blurb for the show but I wanted a little more time to consider it. He messaged me just a little later, I gave what feedback I could off the top of my head. The last line said something about the extraordinary waiting inside all of us. I don't necessarily disagree with that, but our show is not about people's eventual goals, it's more about those fascinating details we all seem to have and no one thinks about. We're on the same page, it was just phrased differently. He also thanked me for keeping on him about the show and I admitted to screaming at myself for not doing it sooner and better - usual nonsense. But he confirmed that he was busy with boat work all week, which was the reason I didn't. Delighted we've got these irons in the fire, but we also have current bills to pay and responsibilities, so those come first.

I'd been going to go to the thrift store, but the odds of finding exactly what I needed seemed slim, so I just spent the $15 to get a bigger bathroom trash can to use for the litter and a container to keep LMF's dry food in. And since the ketamine I get for my depression doesn't seem to be the end of the Quest, I looked for more dissociative RCs. I didn't get too in depth there. I'm not desperate and I feel like waiting longer will might make the process easier. That's more of a risk, really, since while some chems are being taken off the Reefer Madness list, they're also cracking down on technically legal formulations. When LMF pulled me away from the computer, I was going to read more of The Shattered World but since I bought The Ethical Slut for Julian and he promised to read it, I figured that might be a bit more urgent. There's a whole chapter on Jealousy and I'm going to suggest he read that first. Sam came to the door wanting to walk me over to Relax Your Back and get me stuff there. My back is getting better, it's just slow AF. I'll message my doc at some point, see if there's anything he can prescribe that doesn't involve an office visit.

When Julian got home he told me they made commission and clarified some of the details he'd drunkenly rattled off the other night. As near as I can tell, if they get their 3500 target revenue, then they get 10% of the new customers they rented to and 5% of the returning customers. Still not able to view his paystubs or effectively estimate his monthly budget, but it's progress. He drank, talked to Terry outside some, and fantasized about demanding a pay raise. That might be a bit presumptuous since he's still technically on probation, despite being a rock star, but what do I know? I never ask for anything. I didn't have any plans for the evening but I let go of the idea that I needed to have or make them. There's plenty for us to do, together or apart, it's just a matter of deciding on it. He wasn't sure what he wanted for dinner but he was kind of tired of burgers. We bassically had tapas. Some gyoza, some "chicken" strips, and a scallion pancake. I was a little more hungry than that, so I made some extra strips. Felt like a bloated corpse, but we really didn't eat that much. At one point, he started laughing at how bad Kujo's gas was. I'm only mostly nose dead but I couldn't smell anything. It turned out Kujo shit on the couch right next to Julian instead. I guess I hadn't been as on top of the litter boxes as I normally am, but still. The shoes were also still in the tub, so that's probably why Kujo didn't just shit there. Julian mentioned that his dad might get shipped back overseas, which would be money and danger, and he thanked me for saving him from Arkansas. Rattled on a bit about how much he hated it there, how awful it was, and what an oasis it was to have those calls and video chats with me. It's worth noting that I was falling down the rabbit hole and bassically dying during all of this, but that sort of clarifies things. We were both flailing. All night, I had to keep reminding myself that we're on the same team, he's not just waiting for me to slip up and expose an Achilles Heel. There's no slip even needed - Lady Miss Friday is both my strength and weakness. Now that the the Girls are dead. He fell asleep on the couch again, I put his bed down and a blanket on top of him before heading back to LMF.