thepnutgallery | Minor, Vital, Contrasts (Reply)

I didn't feel too bad, really, given how much I drank. It was a little over half the handle. I remembered that when I started drinking, it took many years for me to have my first hangover. I just kept chugging and puking, so I didn't absorb enough to have a hangover. Still no word from Aaron, so I just forwarded to the onduty address. Turns out that was Alicia M., and she sent it on to her supervisor. Fucking finally.

I kept a pretty good balance between work and side projects. I didn't manage to work on the Benoit, but I got all my work done, all my work that came in today for tomorrow done, and at least some of other's lagging claims taken care of. And I finally got my journal up to date!

Justin had messaged me the other day, seemingly flirting, and I responded with rimming. Probably not where he was looking to go, but I love eating ass, and I really loved eating his. And the fact that he learned how to get cleaned up for me, then made sure he was consistently, magically ready at all times still blows my mind. He'd responded over night that since I, a porn star, "let" him fuck me, he wanted to repay the favor. I don't remember if I ever told the story of how we met in front of him, but I still think time froze in that moment after he hit the poppers and looked into my eyes. Just before bending me over right there in the hallway and fucking my brains out. I don't know where we left things or where they stand now, and the conversation got a little uncomfortable. I don't even know why, he just said we had great times together, and I panicked. Shifted things to his minivolution at work. He'd just quit, so I mentioned Constructive Termination, and at some point, I'll probably look up TX's EEOC. I have no problem filing valid claims that will probably lose, just to fuck with them. And I sent him the Citi Concert version of Move You, both because I used to direct it towards him in my head, and because I'm going just a little insane from not being able to share my discoveries.

I drank again after work, but nowhere near the velocity of last night. Partly just because of how prophetic that would have made what was previously simply a mismemory.

Julian sent a text that Rachel needed help, so I called her. It was mostly venting, something about her roommates being dicks and trying to frame her for vandalism. Eventually, she asked for help reaching the police. I guess she'd called a nonemergency number, but it was only open 9-5. I gave her the 24 hr one, and the conversation moved to Julian. It was really quite comforting to know my analysis and frustrations are not unique. There's only so much everyone else can do. At some point, Julian will have to take steps to improve. Or he'll refuse and live with his mom forever.

Julian called after, lamenting Rachel's rambling venting, which is obviously a little ironic. His conversations with her are filled with lots of "Yeah...uh-huh...damn" and the like. It reminded me of the Amazon Echo Silver sketch from SNL. I gave him the outline of it, but he decided to wait to call her back. When he moved on to his appeal, his car, overall financial issues, I suggested he start a Fans account. He's a twink with a huge cock. He could just film jerking off and people would subscribe, to say nothing of it he learned to douche and use toys or whatever. Just the suggestion that there's something, anything he could do for himself raised a flurry of objections. I caught an echo of Bryan, the house guest tried to turn my place into a crack-house. Not as bad, I think, because Bryan would lie and had excuses why he literally couldn't do anything at all. When I asked him to wash his dishes one morning before work, I got home that day and he said he had low blood sugar. All day. But Julian at least occasionally seems to see his denial, his willful helplessness, and his aging and losing opportunities. That kind of self-awareness, even if it's fledgling, is important. He mentioned some roadkill he saw, and my memories of my struggles with roadkill from back when I first start driving flooded the room. I remembered that I struggled, to the point of suicide and/or mass murder, until Amy J noted the not necessarily happy, but truthful fact, that getting hit by a car is one of the kinder ways to go in nature. The extension of that, when I was struggling again, came with the turtle experiment (https://jezebel.com/turtle-roadkill-experiment-conclusively-proves-that-hum-5971889), Christina used that to point out that the numbers are horrible, but are decreasing. As a species, we're becoming more compassionate, more considerate. But it's an evolutionarily slow process.

My mom called, so I hopped off the phone with Julian. He was upset, but we'd been talking for two hours. And he'd stopped even trying to listen because the subject matter got too big for him. My mom agreed that Lady Miss Friday's sudden exceptional affection is due to mating season. Apparently one of her pups keeps using pillows and such to masturbate. It was really a very healthy conversation, I talked about wanting to get sex toys for all my furkids. Just cause they're my furkids doesn't mean they're not sexually mature adults. As demonstrated by Pupple and his slipper every time he comes over. As much as I was enjoying the conversation, I was exhausted, so I took I think two sleeping pills and two melatonins.