Dreaming Mimicry

[thepnutgallery]

Still managed to get up early, stay focused, and even though I didn't quite get absolutely everything done, I'm still way ahead of where I normally am at this time of the week. Tim messaged me that he's getting worried about his stimulus check, but I didn't have time to investigate how to track them. And FHA sent me an absolutely gorgeous Alanis meme. I might use it for my next Check-In post. I meant to update my journal, work on that project, and then make that video for Charlie, but I accidentally closed Outlook, and since it was so late, it wouldn't open again. Julian called, and while we chatted, I noticed a $67 pending charge from ARC on my credit card, but couldn't find any more information. I also went online and bought some wine glasses that are shaped like roses and some desklamps that look like moons. Just like *finally* having my interests on my walls makes the place feel mine, having surreal, fantastical items replace conventional ones makes it feel mine. On learning both of my purchases and my elation at the purchases, Julian thought I was drunk. I explained I try to keep my boozing to a minimum due to the calories and vomiting, and he suggested I find an alternative. Welcome to my Selfquest. I talked about that being part of the draw of GHB, was that it replaced booze. About my frustration with weed, and my part-time loverhunt for a replacement.

I tapped out of the conversation at 10 to take my meds, but then stayed up until midnight journaling. I kept thinking I might hop over to the store for booze and Veg nuggets and considered taking a 3 day weekend. The fact that I needed to log in to the remote system to pull those files no matter what pushed me to just go to sleep instead. I was very pleased with that compromise. But I still told myself I could zip over to the store in the morning before work, snag the files, then cocktail the afternoon away. I like options.