Fortuitous Fruit
Jan. 29th, 2021 01:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thepnutgalleryI woke up early but felt rested. Took care of some things online next to Lady Miss Friday then hopped up and got the day started. And eventually put clothes on. There was a brief hiccup with work because the Net Extender program had logged me out. Thankfully, since I had that patchwork connection earlier this week, I was able to log into my email from my browser and set it up.
The weather was wanton again, sporadic downpours and the like. Lady Miss Friday was upset, of course, and I had to juggle consoling her with actually working. She calmed down when the rain finally died completely and slept next to the space heater.
I got into the weekly meeting on time, though I didn't quite have time to dehobo. I wasn't far into the Hobo Hamlet anyway, just a fuller beard and beginnings of a Jewfro. I definitely did not always speak eloquently, but had some decent ideas that we're going to implement. The meeting reminded me that Kathy was out today, so I swooped back in to manage her claims rather than get ahead on my own. I also remembered to check my case offers. I don't know why I would be surprised by this, but I have a tendency to focus in on whichever aspect of my job I'm working on at the moment and forget about the others.
I'd posted last night asking folk's quarantine hobbies and projects, honestly less out of curiosity than to focus their attention on something more personal and positive. I found a Saga and Rice Boy fan, and discussed the future of Nostalgia Machines with JJD. We moved to Messenger so we didn't continue hijacking the comic thread, and I ended up buying us both copies of Diablo. I had it decades ago, of course, and lost it in all the moves. Bought it and an external drive to play it again last year... Then broke the drive and lost the disc in a series of drugged out fits. I'd been meaning to get it again, but couldn't get past the disgust at having bought this so many times because I couldn't stop fucking up.
I had a hard time getting on track journaling because I was behind several days and I was seeing the mountain, not the path. Julian called me, so I paused again. He's still waiting on the BP position. He gave them far more info than they needed, and apparently kept making clerical errors on the 33 page info forms. Not only did they unsubmit at the first error they found instead of just listing all errors at once, but you had to go through the full 33 page form each time and possibly make more errors. The conversation rambled after that, and I tried pulling away. "I need to journal" didn't sound important enough to put my foot down. I finally did, over resistance, after just about 3 hours. I wonder what was going on there.
Intent, I stayed up journaling next to Lady Miss Friday. But then a friend messaged me, and in trying to clear my notifications, I swiped down, refreshed the page, and had to start over. But I did it. I'm tenacious.
Maybe it was just lack of sleep, but I felt a really strong pull to use again. And it would knock me out for about 3 hours. But it would take an hour to kick in, and I didn't really want to risk getting sucked into it again.
When I finally did try to sleep a little after 4:30, I tried to forgo my meds. Figured I'm no parTy boy, so staying up 24 hours would make me sleepy enough to at least get to sleep, even if I woke up after just a few hours. Maybe my decaf isn't as decaf as I thought. Maybe it's really *the* caf. But with my extra energy, I made a blanket tent for Lady Miss Friday, she laid against me and purred. Worth it.
The weather was wanton again, sporadic downpours and the like. Lady Miss Friday was upset, of course, and I had to juggle consoling her with actually working. She calmed down when the rain finally died completely and slept next to the space heater.
I got into the weekly meeting on time, though I didn't quite have time to dehobo. I wasn't far into the Hobo Hamlet anyway, just a fuller beard and beginnings of a Jewfro. I definitely did not always speak eloquently, but had some decent ideas that we're going to implement. The meeting reminded me that Kathy was out today, so I swooped back in to manage her claims rather than get ahead on my own. I also remembered to check my case offers. I don't know why I would be surprised by this, but I have a tendency to focus in on whichever aspect of my job I'm working on at the moment and forget about the others.
I'd posted last night asking folk's quarantine hobbies and projects, honestly less out of curiosity than to focus their attention on something more personal and positive. I found a Saga and Rice Boy fan, and discussed the future of Nostalgia Machines with JJD. We moved to Messenger so we didn't continue hijacking the comic thread, and I ended up buying us both copies of Diablo. I had it decades ago, of course, and lost it in all the moves. Bought it and an external drive to play it again last year... Then broke the drive and lost the disc in a series of drugged out fits. I'd been meaning to get it again, but couldn't get past the disgust at having bought this so many times because I couldn't stop fucking up.
I had a hard time getting on track journaling because I was behind several days and I was seeing the mountain, not the path. Julian called me, so I paused again. He's still waiting on the BP position. He gave them far more info than they needed, and apparently kept making clerical errors on the 33 page info forms. Not only did they unsubmit at the first error they found instead of just listing all errors at once, but you had to go through the full 33 page form each time and possibly make more errors. The conversation rambled after that, and I tried pulling away. "I need to journal" didn't sound important enough to put my foot down. I finally did, over resistance, after just about 3 hours. I wonder what was going on there.
Intent, I stayed up journaling next to Lady Miss Friday. But then a friend messaged me, and in trying to clear my notifications, I swiped down, refreshed the page, and had to start over. But I did it. I'm tenacious.
Maybe it was just lack of sleep, but I felt a really strong pull to use again. And it would knock me out for about 3 hours. But it would take an hour to kick in, and I didn't really want to risk getting sucked into it again.
When I finally did try to sleep a little after 4:30, I tried to forgo my meds. Figured I'm no parTy boy, so staying up 24 hours would make me sleepy enough to at least get to sleep, even if I woke up after just a few hours. Maybe my decaf isn't as decaf as I thought. Maybe it's really *the* caf. But with my extra energy, I made a blanket tent for Lady Miss Friday, she laid against me and purred. Worth it.
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