Jenga Potential
Aug. 26th, 2020 12:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thepnutgallerySince Julian will be here in 5 days, I finally dragged myself to TJ's for wine, beer, "meatballs," snacks, etc. Such a small thing, and yet....much like crossing things off a to-do list provides positive feelings, having something hanging over you eventually starts to bleed into other areas. Given that I didn't have any concrete plans, I figured it would be a good time to announce his visit. It....didn't go as planned. Plenty of Likes, but not so much on the interest. FHA messaged me about the visit, and it started my thoughts. Ultimately, he's coming out again because he keeps asking, and I'm terrible about saying no. I'm trying not to get my paranoia all over this, but I do have a feeling Julian is secretly hoping to get adopted by me, essentially. In talking, FHA reminded me of the physical instances between me and Julian. I'm aware I'm the absolute King of Making Excuses for Others, and this in particular would be textbook, so I muzzled those thoughts.
Sean hit me up, asking initially about how I'm doing generally, then asking about my meds. He subtly reminded me of dysmorphia, and that I can't really be trusted to judge my weight or appearance. Regarding meds, I've noticed that if I miss one, it just makes the slope a little more slippery. If that makes sense.
Tim's neighbor, Chris, who I've known for a long time, but though we've both expressed interest, have never made it beyond acquaintances, hit me up for a board game night during the visit. Of course, I was gonna try to set up a theme, but Chris doesn't have a onesie, and I don't have enough animal hats to go around, since my bunny hat was stolen. Julian messaged me later with a hip hop duo performing "Liquorice" by Azealia Banks. It was quite decent, and you can tell the choreographer has a tap background. It got a little awkward when he asked if I was excited for his visit, and then asked about Justin. I could swear I've already told him my history there, but he was mostly focused on which of their dicks is bigger. Lorde.
I put on a shirt and picked up a bit for my individual meeting with Kathy, and we talked some about how it makes *total* sense to go from psych to dance to law, then circle back around to psych. Lawyers are supposed to have a Silver Tongue, and I'm not sure if it's that or I just think too much (or both). While the connection to the law was lacking, psych and dance was an easy target, since so many folks use dance as a substitute for therapy. It got me thinking about Miriam's class, and that one lyrical combination where she commented that I was working through some ish on the dance floor. I don't remember the details, but we somehow also got onto the topic of societal pressure towards stoicism, and its roots in machismo. It got me wondering how related to the U.S. that is. Finally, she asked about the Zoom meetings for work, and told me she specifically wanted my opinion specifically because I think so deep and often have a wildly different perspective. I'm gonna look up other Zoom games for the meetings.
Sean hit me up, asking initially about how I'm doing generally, then asking about my meds. He subtly reminded me of dysmorphia, and that I can't really be trusted to judge my weight or appearance. Regarding meds, I've noticed that if I miss one, it just makes the slope a little more slippery. If that makes sense.
Tim's neighbor, Chris, who I've known for a long time, but though we've both expressed interest, have never made it beyond acquaintances, hit me up for a board game night during the visit. Of course, I was gonna try to set up a theme, but Chris doesn't have a onesie, and I don't have enough animal hats to go around, since my bunny hat was stolen. Julian messaged me later with a hip hop duo performing "Liquorice" by Azealia Banks. It was quite decent, and you can tell the choreographer has a tap background. It got a little awkward when he asked if I was excited for his visit, and then asked about Justin. I could swear I've already told him my history there, but he was mostly focused on which of their dicks is bigger. Lorde.
I put on a shirt and picked up a bit for my individual meeting with Kathy, and we talked some about how it makes *total* sense to go from psych to dance to law, then circle back around to psych. Lawyers are supposed to have a Silver Tongue, and I'm not sure if it's that or I just think too much (or both). While the connection to the law was lacking, psych and dance was an easy target, since so many folks use dance as a substitute for therapy. It got me thinking about Miriam's class, and that one lyrical combination where she commented that I was working through some ish on the dance floor. I don't remember the details, but we somehow also got onto the topic of societal pressure towards stoicism, and its roots in machismo. It got me wondering how related to the U.S. that is. Finally, she asked about the Zoom meetings for work, and told me she specifically wanted my opinion specifically because I think so deep and often have a wildly different perspective. I'm gonna look up other Zoom games for the meetings.
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