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thepnutgallerySlept horribly *again,* though this time I did manage to doze for a bit later in the morning. Played some video games - Arc the Lad is a very very simplistic game, so I don't feel remotely bad about using cheat codes. Warren asked about the group thing that didn't happen the night before, and asked me to text him with the various vids I'm trying not to spam the groups with. He couldn't even make small talk first, so he can wait for the posts to the groups. He also seemed under the impression that I had never stopped hoing while I was with him, so I had to set that record straight.
I never did make it out to The Hole - I felt and smelled like a bum - but I did decide to join Bryan at Gossip, which then got moved to Uptown because Gossip was charging a cover. I got there first, ordered a drink from Jared, who I didn't even know worked there because I never go there. The music was very very ecletic. Like, they played On + off" by Maggie Rogers, and then Fighter, and then some really really circuity song. Bryan and Tyler joined a bit later. Tyler is cute, fun, but got *really* drunk and was trying to make a 3 way happen. Bryan looked uncomfortable, so I tapped out of the night.
I stopped at the store, figuring it would be a good night to treat myself to a different dinner. Picked up mushrooms, tortillas, and horseradish hummus. Just something different. The walk home was even nice, even though I'd forgotten to bring bags. Got home, started cooking up the mushrooms and "meatballs" and noticed that I was still smelling occasional wafts of the stench I had figured was me earlier, even though I'd showered.
A terrible thought occurred to me. I walked over to Hover's table, moved his egg carton but didn't feel a body. I was relieved for a half a second, and then I saw his tail in his cage, body half way into his other carton. I texted Tim. He called me, noting that it was "quite late" but he would still come up to bury him. It was not quite 8:30. I stamped down sobs, then called him back after a bit. I was capable of burying him, I just don't have any tools or know how to do it or almost anything. For something I've known was coming for quite some time I was really very poorly prepared. Good job Squeak. He insisted he wanted to come up. I'm loathe to let anyone do anything for me ever, and particularly things that I emotionally "can't" do. I'm a Big Boy. I'm not a slave to my bleeding heart. But I still let him.
As it turns out, he also didn't have tools to really dig with, but he made do with various boat working tools. I picked up Hover from his spot and wrapped his small, stiff, bloated body in paper towels, and managed to not completely collapse crying while Tim buried him and placed rocks and flowers over the top.
I did a much better than I did with Mousey, but then, I wasn't at fault for this one. I gave him the best life he could possibly have had. Given that, I wasn't expecting to have any tears at all, much less to fight them for hours.
He stayed after for a long time, but I was mostly drinking by then. I kicked him out a little after midnight and crashed.
I never did make it out to The Hole - I felt and smelled like a bum - but I did decide to join Bryan at Gossip, which then got moved to Uptown because Gossip was charging a cover. I got there first, ordered a drink from Jared, who I didn't even know worked there because I never go there. The music was very very ecletic. Like, they played On + off" by Maggie Rogers, and then Fighter, and then some really really circuity song. Bryan and Tyler joined a bit later. Tyler is cute, fun, but got *really* drunk and was trying to make a 3 way happen. Bryan looked uncomfortable, so I tapped out of the night.
I stopped at the store, figuring it would be a good night to treat myself to a different dinner. Picked up mushrooms, tortillas, and horseradish hummus. Just something different. The walk home was even nice, even though I'd forgotten to bring bags. Got home, started cooking up the mushrooms and "meatballs" and noticed that I was still smelling occasional wafts of the stench I had figured was me earlier, even though I'd showered.
A terrible thought occurred to me. I walked over to Hover's table, moved his egg carton but didn't feel a body. I was relieved for a half a second, and then I saw his tail in his cage, body half way into his other carton. I texted Tim. He called me, noting that it was "quite late" but he would still come up to bury him. It was not quite 8:30. I stamped down sobs, then called him back after a bit. I was capable of burying him, I just don't have any tools or know how to do it or almost anything. For something I've known was coming for quite some time I was really very poorly prepared. Good job Squeak. He insisted he wanted to come up. I'm loathe to let anyone do anything for me ever, and particularly things that I emotionally "can't" do. I'm a Big Boy. I'm not a slave to my bleeding heart. But I still let him.
As it turns out, he also didn't have tools to really dig with, but he made do with various boat working tools. I picked up Hover from his spot and wrapped his small, stiff, bloated body in paper towels, and managed to not completely collapse crying while Tim buried him and placed rocks and flowers over the top.
I did a much better than I did with Mousey, but then, I wasn't at fault for this one. I gave him the best life he could possibly have had. Given that, I wasn't expecting to have any tears at all, much less to fight them for hours.
He stayed after for a long time, but I was mostly drinking by then. I kicked him out a little after midnight and crashed.
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