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Jun. 16th, 2016 07:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thepnutgalleryI got a full 8 hrs sleep, so I have no clue why I was *so* exhausted. I think I had 3 flower pots of coffee. Fortunately, the promise of the dog park kept me motivated all day. I happened to read this gem - http://www.theuglyvolvo.com/an-open-letter-to-the-female-hat-wearing-dog-from-go-dog-go/ - and from there found another article titled "Reasons My 33 Year Old Is Crying." I'd just referenced the same blog they did, so I thought it would be in the same vein. Alas, it wasn't very witty, and one of the examples was of a Momma Otter and her pups being chased by killer whales. Momma hops in a research boat and evades them, but the pups end up being eaten. Momma goes a little crazy, screaming for them, jumping back into the water with the killer whales to look for them, screaming more. It was awful and I hate everything and I'm so happy I have my mouse. One of the dogs at the park also did their part, jumping up and putting big, muddy, loving paw prints all over me.
I'd planned on packing tonight and leaving straight from work tomorrow to try to get a jump on traffic to PS. I stayed late getting extra work done, but finally left at 5:45, because the computers were getting an "upgrade" at 6 and had to be turned off. Julian messaged me, asking if he could see me, but he was seeing Rachel soon, so needed a ride later (she couldn't give him one, because.... Reasons?). I went grocery shopping for the coming week and for the weekend, then left to pick him up, He's got a couple people coming to look at his place, needed help taking out the trash.
I made him dinner at home, spent some time with Lady Miss Friday, and started putting away some stuff for the weekend. He asked to come with again, and I again told him that I could get him a ticket to the event, but couldn't secure him lodging. YES YOU CAN YOU JUST DON'T WANT TO THEY'RE PIG NEWTONS. At one point he decided to walk home, then texted me that he wanted a ride, then said I had to wait for him to finish his cigarette when I pulled up next to him. Fuuuuuuck that. He jumped in my car when I parked again, and the whole rest of the night was him begging, crying, re-writing huge sections of history, and finally admitting that despite my continual insistence that I don't want him as a boyfriend, he still believes someday he and me will find ourselves in love again. Every time I help him, every time he asks or begs for something and I give in, it's "proof" that I still want to be with him.
The most surreal part of the evening came while he was telling me all this, tears streaming down his face, but that same face occasionally twitching in rage. I started thinking about what I'd do if he hit me, or tried to, but it never came to that. He yelled and cried and begged more while I gave Mousey some treats and held him, and finally stormed out for good when I went to bed and informed him there was a spare bed in the living room.
I woke up several times throughout the night, and really should have done my packing then. Oh well.
I'd planned on packing tonight and leaving straight from work tomorrow to try to get a jump on traffic to PS. I stayed late getting extra work done, but finally left at 5:45, because the computers were getting an "upgrade" at 6 and had to be turned off. Julian messaged me, asking if he could see me, but he was seeing Rachel soon, so needed a ride later (she couldn't give him one, because.... Reasons?). I went grocery shopping for the coming week and for the weekend, then left to pick him up, He's got a couple people coming to look at his place, needed help taking out the trash.
I made him dinner at home, spent some time with Lady Miss Friday, and started putting away some stuff for the weekend. He asked to come with again, and I again told him that I could get him a ticket to the event, but couldn't secure him lodging. YES YOU CAN YOU JUST DON'T WANT TO THEY'RE PIG NEWTONS. At one point he decided to walk home, then texted me that he wanted a ride, then said I had to wait for him to finish his cigarette when I pulled up next to him. Fuuuuuuck that. He jumped in my car when I parked again, and the whole rest of the night was him begging, crying, re-writing huge sections of history, and finally admitting that despite my continual insistence that I don't want him as a boyfriend, he still believes someday he and me will find ourselves in love again. Every time I help him, every time he asks or begs for something and I give in, it's "proof" that I still want to be with him.
The most surreal part of the evening came while he was telling me all this, tears streaming down his face, but that same face occasionally twitching in rage. I started thinking about what I'd do if he hit me, or tried to, but it never came to that. He yelled and cried and begged more while I gave Mousey some treats and held him, and finally stormed out for good when I went to bed and informed him there was a spare bed in the living room.
I woke up several times throughout the night, and really should have done my packing then. Oh well.
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Date: 2016-06-21 06:13 am (UTC)Holy shit I laughed very loudly at that.