Managing Exits

Up at 4, but nothing I haven't dealt with before, and that ensured I had plenty of time to get everything done before I left. I cleaned out the cat bowls and ran the garbage disposal to keep the flies from nesting in the drain, but Julian snapped at me. I almost left the bowls out to force him to get up and feed the kids himself, but as always, I try to keep our issues from impacting them.

My day in the office, and I'm not sure what changed, but I don't mind my half mile/10 min walk. I might even forgo a lucky closer parking space, just figuring that other people want it badly enough to circle endlessly or lie in wait in temporary spots, where I don't really care. We'll see if the feeling lasts. Kathy brought doughnut holes for the on site folks, we talked briefly about my experiences with office doughnuts. From the pregan vein tapping and overpowering urge to gorge to the current olfactory appreciation and little else, nonvegan treats just don't have anywhere near the same power over me. I like that it now takes intention for me to have treats. Not completely, but I more need to decide I want them, rather than just stumbling on them. I also asked her about ADI taking care of the proof of service on the divorce papers. When I looked at the filed forms, though, I saw the Guide and File program glitched. It filed my original forms, not the final drafts, and I'm not even sure how. I looked up motions for summary judgment, because Shawn had talked about having me help with those, sent him the sample, my divorce forms, and a note thanking him for last night, letting him know about my new professional email address, and asking his advice and help on finishing the divorce. I talked to Xochi some, about everything from the divorce and addiction to her hastened retirement, as she may have cancer. I'm going to try to organize a going away party for her, whether in person or over Zoom. I went back to the Exercise Room; I hadn't been since I started tumbling down the rabbit hole, and with the nerve damage causing difficulties, hadn't had much incentive. I'm not letting perfect be the enemy of good, so I did crunches and weighted squats. Some exercise is better than none.

I stopped at the bank on the way home and grabbed a cashier's check for the rest of Julian's deposit. I could probably have just deposited cash again, but when he got home, he reminded me they haven't sent him the actual lease yet. Apparently the previous paper was just an offer? No clue. Phyllis called again in the evening, but I again eventually had to exit. I just didn't have the energy. I checked my email again before crashing, but no reply from Shawn. I'm not sure I will ever stop worrying that I've ruined everything, but even if I did, I'll keep it alive, keep it moving on.