Yes, That's An Adventure

Opted to let Julian take care of his morning chores and leave, then took care of the litter boxes. Another Chewy box arrived - this one just had food for the strays and another 40 lbs box of litter. Realized as they say, far too late that I forgot to add regular cat treats to this order, but from what I've seen, Chewy isn't all that much cheaper than the store. Plus I've still got those treats from Petco that no one wants, so I should be able to swap them. My antidepressants still didn't show, and no way to contact them since they're M-F. Spent the morning journaling, browsing for cars, terpenes, costumes, and trying to make sense of Julian's health insurance options. He wants a PPO, but I can't make any sense of the listings. Everything says his dental is embedded, but there are still two options for his dental. I think I'll just direct him to his HR.

Julian was concerned for my mood and confused when he came home for lunch. Turns out he was blacked out last night. Everything after picking up the Jack in the Box was gone. Reminds me of the days I'd drink to blackout and spend the next morning terrified I'm secretly a horrible, evil person who'd fooled even myself. And it turns out that's yet another symptom of anxiety. He wanted to do something again tonight and even though DILF was at The Rail, I think I'll try to avoid cover charges. Texted a few friends, figured we'd end up back at PECS or maybe try that new bar, AWOL, that replaced Brick Bar. Robert, a struggling soul, hit me up because he also wanted to go out, but he wanted me to plan, pilot, and pay for everything, too. I offered to pick him up, but he wanted me to take him to a bar, buy his drinks, then drive him home again after. He also declined finding any LGBT groups outside of a bar. I'll grant most of the gay world is in bars, but there are LGBT groups for almost any hobby you could possibly imagine. Bryan messaged that he was just walking home from AWOL, so I thought that would be a good opportunity to catch up. Julian remembered him from 2015-6, but apparently Bryan yelled at him when he was being loud on the balcony. I've heard from several folks that when Julian goes outside to talk to his mom, everyone in the neighborhood can hear him. I often remind him that I'm sitting right next to him - no need to shout - but I haven't heard much of his outside conversations. I guess he was out on Bryan's balcony being loud and Bryan yelled at him to be quiet. No bad blood, so off we went. Julian navigated the way there, drunk and surly though he was. Kept interrogating if I even knew where I was going, giving directions after I'd already taken turns, and jeering at my phone. He had me park about a 5 minute walk away, but it being so late and dark, I suggested we pin the car's location on the map.

We found the place alright and had a lovely evening. Bryan broke his wrist and back a few months ago but finally got through all the red tape and got surgery for it. Wouldn't even know it had been broken. Clinton and his partner were also there, though the partner went to bed very early. Clinton is so much piggier than I thought. Flags red, among other colors. Julian was going to exit the complex to smoke, presumably just wanting to avoid any problems like 2015-16, but Bryan showed him like...a skylight or something. I brought weed and poppers with me, not that I didn't think about drinking, and Shazamed a couple songs.

We left around 1ish, Julian frustrated that the car was so far, and then it turned out his phone didn't save the car's location. I knew the general area it was in but didn't have much hope of finding it. Small white car in the dark, no clicker to even help. Julian stopped at a well lit corner to wait while I kept looking, but my ankle was being a dick, too. He called me a few times to vent, but I was looking since sobered up and managed pretty decently. Eventually he called to tell me he was walking home, that he'd figure something out in the morning for work. I figured the car would be easier to find with the aid of daylight, so made one last lap and also walked home. Somehow beat Julian there, which was fortunate since we locked the door. I was pleasantly surprised that Julian was perfectly fine. He said and I reminded him that it was an adventure. Ate a bunch of chips and salsa, watched 30 Rock, passed out on the couch while I was rubbing his feet. No tantrum, no snide remarks. I'll take it. I still screamed at myself for not taking better charge, but it's fine. I texted Tim asking for a ride to look for the car in the morning and was kind of shocked he was still up, though he crashed right after he agreed. I crashed after putting everything away. Declined my sleeping meds, though, since I knew I'd have to get up early to look for the car.