In Before Clients

Up a little early but stayed laying with my eyes closed, grasping for warmth under the blanket in the morning chill. Delighted to have a morning chill, but still nuzzled against it. Chatted with JJD on Teams, mostly about video games on the Nostalgia Machine, but also about pets. He's now considering fostering an older rescue dog named Gunther from Helen Woodward, and they take care of food, vet bills, etc. for fosters. Kind of what I want my religion to do, just not limited to fosters. I rescheduled and had my interview to volunteer with The Humane League. Miranda, the interviewer, was just lovely. I have no filter, so I introduced Lady Miss Friday, briefly mentioned my journey to veganism (she's also vegan, as are many of the other volunteers, unsurprisingly), my experience and goals to volunteer, my FB Jailing, and even my near actual jailing. I'm so excited to start with them - I *need* projects, goals...quests. Not necessarily The Quest, of course. But I obviously have a lot on my plate already, so we'll see how much I can do there. Julian has scoliosis and has been talking about pinched nerves, though he refuses to see a doctor or even take pain killers for it, so I bought him a chiropractor session. We'll still need to schedule it, but it wasn't that expensive. I got hit up by another client, this one for Sunday. I guess I won't be retiring yet. This one was very, very sweet, but seemed to also be very insecure. I could almost feel years of vicious rejection he suffered cascading through his texts. This is the reason I love my night job - just the ability to reach out and touch someone in need of human touch.

I meant to walk over to Ralph's and Ace Hardware during the day, but even with my lunch break and being completely on top of work, I didn't want to risk running late or missing something. I took the car when Julian got home instead. Swapped the protein powder at TJ's first. The vanilla was a little more expensive than the plain one, though I only swapped them for the nutritional contrast, not the price. I probably should have snagged some hummus or candy with the difference, but I figured TJ's is taking a hit from my returning the open powder anyway, so I let it go. I grabbed both moth and fly traps at Ace, enraged though I was to see rodent glue traps for sale there. I really need to get to work on making them illegal so I'm not so tempted towards arson on a simple shopping trip. I asked about poison instead of traps for the bugs and they gave me some orange spray that's supposed to kill them and keep them away. I hesitated but bought everything. Something should work. Finally, I hit up Ralph's again for creamer, bought some beer for Julian, and some tortilla chips he'd mentioned needing for the salsa in the fridge. They had Family Size Sour Patch Kids in the very back, but as I did years ago, I thought about price and calories. Price didn't deter, since they were on mega clearance, but the bag was about 2.5k calories, and whether I ate the whole bag in one sitting or 12, that's 2.5k calories I don't need. And I recognize that food cravings are almost entirely matters of habit, so I'm trying to get away from candy. I mean, snacking in general, but at least some harm reduction in what I eat. Unfortunately, I checked my phone and saw a text from Julian, livid with the venture's duration. This time he specifically demanded to know if I was fucking someone and suggested the chiropractic session I bought him was just to placate him over my clients. I kept my fangs sheathed, but I was enraged. I'm sure seeing the glue traps contributed.

He was sitting outside with Terry when I got back, Terry greeted me acknowledging my weight loss, and even though it was flattery, it cooled my fires some. I set up the traps, sprayed the bugs, and went back to high fiving them. That didn't help my mood. I fucking loathe having to kill them at all, much less trying to weigh whether crushing or adhesive traps are worse. I killed about 10 of them. I don't even know where they're coming from. I keep all grains and cat foods locked up. When Julian came in, he said he was frustrated, not really angry, and apologized when I explained the full adventure map. We talked about my night job and started unpacking the various issues at play there. We both have a lot going on, so any interactions, much less sexual ones, have been limited. I pretty much always do - see above about needing a quest, but this is all very new to him coming from his mom's house in Fort Smith, Arkansas. The last few times we've fucked have all been after a client, and even though we're technically open, there's still a jealousy there. I encouraged him to read The Ethical Slut, he said he might take it to work on his slow days. We were about to fuck when Terry asked for a ride to Sprouts because he locked himself out. David hit me up about a business question a few weeks ago, but insists on asking over lunch instead of just messaging me whatever he needs to know. He messaged again, but this time because he was parTying and for some reason became intent on getting my dick. Flattering, really, both because he wanted me to top and because he surely knows about my addiction? I'm sort of amazed anyone still talks to me. When Julian got home, we offered to tag team David, but he was doing that parTy boy thing where they take forever. I'd forgotten about that. It's been a while. I told him Julian and I were going to fuck, he could come over if he wanted. Julian and I flip fucked to the Fucking Julian playlist, and it was a magic start. There was a temptation to jump straight to penetration, but I slowed things down, really just trying to crystallize the connection and intimacy. He let me tongue his prostate, even though that horrid little voice kept whispering he doesn't like it, only does it to appease me. Ugh. At his request, I came inside him...and came, and came, and came. Felt like a fucking tsunami of semen. I lost my hard on after cumming but was still completely randy, so I rode him for a while then flipped on my back for him to fuck me. I worried about that because I know Julian has insecurities about twinks topping. He freaked out and I think had a panic attack. Hyperventilated while still inside me and my cumming buckets inside him fucked with his tummy. He felt terrible about not cumming and I felt terrible because I had a great time. I almost still invited David over just so Julian could fuck him, but I'm pretty sensitive to being used as a pimp and my own jealousy flared up. We just watched some Lucifer and then I crashed.