A Celebration of Sorts

I didn't hear Julian's alarm, so I went out a little before 7 to take care of the kids. Also woke him up, though he was reluctant and grumpy. I was the star of Wake Up Squeak, I know how handle these things. He smoked, still grumpy, while I made coffee and fed the kids. Terry said something to him but he waived it and my questions off. He opted to put his phone in the outgoing mail instead of a mailbox or via work, Terry is paranoid about people stealing things and loves drama. I've seen packages sit there for days, but better safe than sorry, I suppose. Julian had made a To Do List for me before passing out last night, including some chores I normally do, like taking out the trash and mopping, but also some things he was going to do, like laundry. He can't do anything, he works. And Monday he needed to rest! And Tuesday....anyway, I needed to do these things. I'm not his maid and I do still have a job, convenient though it is to work from home. I still vacuumed and mopped the bathroom, and even scrubbed that gross corner next to the litter box.

He came home a bit late for lunch but apologized for the chore list. He at least ended the note with silly, drunk, affection. It's the thought that counts. He said he'd call USAA again when he got back to work, I said I would too, but I got a call later from Enterprise. She was nice, I was nice, but I'm not giving them another cent, not when they were such dicks about that extra insurance. USAA will just reimburse us instead. Maybe we could have seen Pablo again, but this way I should be able to get Julian and his company some extra cash. I then also mopped the rest of the apartment. Should at least help my feet stay clean.

When he got home for the day, he shared fantastic news - he got a raise! $16/hr now, plus commission. He might well make more than me now, depending on his commission. I suggested celebrating again, but he needed beer. We remembered the plastic wraps and such to drop off in front of Ralph's and he wanted to stop by TJ's for something. We bought much more than anticipated at both TJ's and Ralph's, though he paid for everything at TJ's. I even got some calorie-friendly snacks, like nori and sun dried tomatoes. I also got a giant seafood pack of treats for the kids and some of the meaty sticks for Lady Miss Crazy, Julian's new nickname for Lady Miss Friday. I get where it's a sign I'm starving to perform, but I loved performing my way down the aisles. Loved even more doing it stone cold sober. We put everything away when we got back, though there was a small hiccup when the coffee I was freezing spilled. Julian defaults to anger and I'm vicious as fuck, but we got through it. Bonus, I found a bottle of poppers! He called his mom and had to use my phone. We video chatted some while I smoked. I also started the TJ's vegan meat lover's pizza he asked for, but he declined it just before it finished. I'm obviously not an issue - I used to think about ordering a pizza just so I could eat it the next day. But he even agreed that he could just take it for lunch, if he eats lunch. He wants to retire in Vilsek, and after the humidity today I'm on board. He bought an Oktoberfest beer in celebration, but I think it hit him pretty fast. Right after we hung up with his mom, he asked about children. I opened with my goal of Lilith, but when I really started thinking about it, I don't know if I want children. I let go of my guilt not for not passing on dad's genes a long time ago, and having a relationship with mom, who has no biological imperative for me to pass on her genes, still wants grandchildren from me. Him being an only child, he feels pressure to pass on his DNA. I've obviously been there, but...why? Other than biological imperative, I couldn't think of much. So if we have a kid, he can be the actual genetic father. He's going to call around and start looking at buying property. I'm good. He also got frustrated with his hair and asked me to buzz it. I had flashbacks to clipping mine short when I was high, but I buzzed it as asked. I took my antidepressant and the night was another journey. I couldn't even figure out my intentions with Julian. What do I even want to happen here? He asked for back rubs and scratches but kicked me off the couch when his stomach hurt. I thought about taking that opportunity to crash with Lady Miss Friday for a very long time before rejoining. He sat on Kujo which freaked me out more than needed, so when he reminded me about my antidepressant, I took the second dose. Our whole night kept bobbing at the surface but music to the rescue every time for me - one absolutely phenomenal track in particular, and he seemed to catch himself several times. He passed out on the couch after declining his bed, I put a blanket on him, journaled and snacked to Nora En Pure.