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Positive Slides
Jun. 12th, 2021 10:14 amI knew I had a lot I needed to get done before FHA came over but I wasn't really sure exactly what needed to be done. I did the dishes just to start the Doing Things ball rolling. Picked up my room after that, cleaning off the nightstands, putting away clothes, etc. Julian watched Netflix when he woke up, and Lady Miss Friday moved into her closet, so I went to vacuum. Julian said he felt bad because I was cleaning and he wasn't. So....clean? He picked up some things in the living room but then had to leave to take Rachel somewhere. I asked him again to take my car to Discount Tire, but somehow he got lost despite GPS. He also apparently forgot to pay his phone bill again and used his mom's credit card. Something about it being an automatic payment that comes out, but that sounds fishy. I tried to dispute the added charge for the rental, and it's unfortunate that they require a phone call during the week. Since I was down to my last cart, I ordered more and hopped over to the bank to snag some cash. Sadly, Weed4Less was out of indica house live resin carts, and money's tight enough that saving $5/cart is worth it. But Julian found another cart while cleaning. I'd set it between the couch cushions because I intended to swap it out, but that last little bit in the prior one proved exceptionally efficient, so I hadn't needed it. And then it fell between the couch cushions. 2 grams should be enough to calm my anxiety over running out for the next couple days.
Tim called while Julian was out - he was in the area and thought he might stop by for a visit. Sure thing. I had already cleaned the moth remains off my walls and just sprayed down the bathroom, but you're supposed to let it sit there for a few minutes before cleaning. Tim finished it for me when he pissed. That works. He cautioned me about going back into sex work, noting that my night job picked up when my nonprofit failed and my dad died. Correlation isn't causation, of course. I'm going to try to be moderate about this. I'm aware that's hilarious on its face, but while I didn't make that much money escorting, I made enough that it was the deciding factor on homelessness on several occasions. More for others than myself, but still. He also noted that my pay of about 20/hr is insanely low for a paralegal - the average in San Diego is about 30/hour. Living wage calculator estimates I'm at the living wage for here, but that's supposed to be minimum wage, per Roosevelt. (https://livingwage.mit.edu/counties/06073). The minimum, of course, hasn't even kept pace with inflation, much less the actual cost of living.
He left just a little before 2, but I hadn't heard from FHA, so I wasn't sure if we were still filming. He arrived shortly after 2 and even let me pour him some Eric Juice. We got caught up, talked about our experience with Sean's party, our position on open relationships, and our history together. It's been so long, I sometimes forget who I even was back then. Since I was also briefly a psych major at that time, I offered to play makeshift or backup therapist for him & David, kind of the way Tim does for me. He didn't think David would be able to relax, and I think he said that much the same way I'm convinced there are different species of humans, lots of people see me entirely foreign. I know I try to keep my Weirdship sailing closer to Quirky than Crazy, but I'm completely okay with still being viewed as Lovecraftian strange. I referred him to Candace, and then the day hit another snag when Lady Miss Friday was asleep on my bed. At FHA's suggestion, I went to shower and double-check things anyway. No harm waiting, and entirely possible she could move. Plus, we could always film on the couch and post it later. Unfortunately, all the fucking we did the past couple days ripped me some and I know from experience that trying anyway leads to far more trouble. Julian agreed to bottom, Lady Miss Friday moved to her closet, and FHA talked down our nerves about various aspects of it. On the one hand, I'd obviously done porn before, but I'd never tried to market myself. I guess I sort of have with escorting but it's really not the same. I kept losing my hard-on, but since I was inside him already, didn't slip out. He couldn't cum, I pretended to cum inside him, but he wasn't clean when I pulled out. He's learning, and anyone can roll a natural 1. He got cleaned up, FHA and I chatted while I edged. He still couldn't cum, but I shot on his chest. Not stellar distance, though not terrible - I hit Julian's other shoulder and left the Great Lakes of semen on his chest. We got cleaned up, chatted more, and then Julian went outside to smoke. FHA is going to be our go-to cameraman and editor, we're going to give him 20%, which feels fair. I don't want to take advantage of anyone, and this way the more successful Julian and I are, the more he makes, too. Win-win. Win. He also noted Julian's growth. Not that he's perfect, obviously, but he could visibly see Julian course correcting. Awesome.
Julian came back with Terry. I hadn't gotten around to putting on clothes, but...meh. Terry apologized for everything that happened, commented that his ego had burned that bridge. I mean, same. I could have just apologized. I very delicately explained that much like Julian and me, Terry and I enabled each other. So the break was good. He talked to Taka and they agreed to host Julian's cats. Not only that, he took Julian on a job interview and apparently got him hired making more money than I do. Outstanding. While they were gone, I saw Tim had tagged me in a Memory. Today was the day, back in 2015, that he made his final attempt to re-home her before he was going to take her to a shelter. I don't think I have to say much about how incredibly grateful I am that I got her, or how dark any timeline would have been without her.
We had a Happy Hour on the steps in front of Terry's place, I wore my wig at his request, and a couple other neighbors joined us. That was even better because it kept any kind of conversational responsibility evenly distributed. Some of the neighbors are crazier than I am, and some of them are more lush. I know. When Taka got off work, they were going to go get the cats (I declined), but apparently Rachel said no? I don't care, as long as the cats have a place to stay and it's not Lady Miss Friday's apartment, I'm good. I made dinner, but even though I've figured out that the recipe is just soy curls, supporting actor such as pasta or veggies, etc, and sauce of some kind, it should have been fairly simple. Unfortunately, that ended up being the last can of pasta sauce, since I couldn't really figure out what else to pair the curls with but pasta. In retrospect, we could have made a pasta salad using dressing, or even cooking a dressing the way I sometimes do with Balsamic vinaigrette. We'll get there. It was delicious, and I managed to put away the leftovers instead of gorging.
Tim called while Julian was out - he was in the area and thought he might stop by for a visit. Sure thing. I had already cleaned the moth remains off my walls and just sprayed down the bathroom, but you're supposed to let it sit there for a few minutes before cleaning. Tim finished it for me when he pissed. That works. He cautioned me about going back into sex work, noting that my night job picked up when my nonprofit failed and my dad died. Correlation isn't causation, of course. I'm going to try to be moderate about this. I'm aware that's hilarious on its face, but while I didn't make that much money escorting, I made enough that it was the deciding factor on homelessness on several occasions. More for others than myself, but still. He also noted that my pay of about 20/hr is insanely low for a paralegal - the average in San Diego is about 30/hour. Living wage calculator estimates I'm at the living wage for here, but that's supposed to be minimum wage, per Roosevelt. (https://livingwage.mit.edu/counties/06073). The minimum, of course, hasn't even kept pace with inflation, much less the actual cost of living.
He left just a little before 2, but I hadn't heard from FHA, so I wasn't sure if we were still filming. He arrived shortly after 2 and even let me pour him some Eric Juice. We got caught up, talked about our experience with Sean's party, our position on open relationships, and our history together. It's been so long, I sometimes forget who I even was back then. Since I was also briefly a psych major at that time, I offered to play makeshift or backup therapist for him & David, kind of the way Tim does for me. He didn't think David would be able to relax, and I think he said that much the same way I'm convinced there are different species of humans, lots of people see me entirely foreign. I know I try to keep my Weirdship sailing closer to Quirky than Crazy, but I'm completely okay with still being viewed as Lovecraftian strange. I referred him to Candace, and then the day hit another snag when Lady Miss Friday was asleep on my bed. At FHA's suggestion, I went to shower and double-check things anyway. No harm waiting, and entirely possible she could move. Plus, we could always film on the couch and post it later. Unfortunately, all the fucking we did the past couple days ripped me some and I know from experience that trying anyway leads to far more trouble. Julian agreed to bottom, Lady Miss Friday moved to her closet, and FHA talked down our nerves about various aspects of it. On the one hand, I'd obviously done porn before, but I'd never tried to market myself. I guess I sort of have with escorting but it's really not the same. I kept losing my hard-on, but since I was inside him already, didn't slip out. He couldn't cum, I pretended to cum inside him, but he wasn't clean when I pulled out. He's learning, and anyone can roll a natural 1. He got cleaned up, FHA and I chatted while I edged. He still couldn't cum, but I shot on his chest. Not stellar distance, though not terrible - I hit Julian's other shoulder and left the Great Lakes of semen on his chest. We got cleaned up, chatted more, and then Julian went outside to smoke. FHA is going to be our go-to cameraman and editor, we're going to give him 20%, which feels fair. I don't want to take advantage of anyone, and this way the more successful Julian and I are, the more he makes, too. Win-win. Win. He also noted Julian's growth. Not that he's perfect, obviously, but he could visibly see Julian course correcting. Awesome.
Julian came back with Terry. I hadn't gotten around to putting on clothes, but...meh. Terry apologized for everything that happened, commented that his ego had burned that bridge. I mean, same. I could have just apologized. I very delicately explained that much like Julian and me, Terry and I enabled each other. So the break was good. He talked to Taka and they agreed to host Julian's cats. Not only that, he took Julian on a job interview and apparently got him hired making more money than I do. Outstanding. While they were gone, I saw Tim had tagged me in a Memory. Today was the day, back in 2015, that he made his final attempt to re-home her before he was going to take her to a shelter. I don't think I have to say much about how incredibly grateful I am that I got her, or how dark any timeline would have been without her.
We had a Happy Hour on the steps in front of Terry's place, I wore my wig at his request, and a couple other neighbors joined us. That was even better because it kept any kind of conversational responsibility evenly distributed. Some of the neighbors are crazier than I am, and some of them are more lush. I know. When Taka got off work, they were going to go get the cats (I declined), but apparently Rachel said no? I don't care, as long as the cats have a place to stay and it's not Lady Miss Friday's apartment, I'm good. I made dinner, but even though I've figured out that the recipe is just soy curls, supporting actor such as pasta or veggies, etc, and sauce of some kind, it should have been fairly simple. Unfortunately, that ended up being the last can of pasta sauce, since I couldn't really figure out what else to pair the curls with but pasta. In retrospect, we could have made a pasta salad using dressing, or even cooking a dressing the way I sometimes do with Balsamic vinaigrette. We'll get there. It was delicious, and I managed to put away the leftovers instead of gorging.
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