No Office? No Problem!

I woke up to a string of texts from Julian after I'd gone to sleep, he presumably kept drinking, but they were all healthy and self-aware. He owned his various issues and agreed that he's taking the vacation because he wants a vacation, though he's delighted it's with me. That calmed me tremendously. I am now hopeful this will be a good trip.

Unfortunately, I was only able to log in for a few minutes at work, then the VPN and my work computer took the day off. Apparently the communications guy was replacing the router, so it was spotty for most everyone, I just won the lottery. I can do everything from home that I do at work. Well, almost. We don't have Quattro at home, only work, so I uploaded all the mail, but couldn't update the Allpages. Kathy emailed me directly at the end of the day about taking my substitutions, so I guess word got around that they are my nemesis. But she hadn't heard about the near disaster, so I told her about that, too. Yeah, it was a really, really bad fuck up, but no harm done in the end. And given my creative adjectives and colorful descriptions, she laughed now that the crisis was past. Again, that calmed me tremendously. She said she'd handle the subs, and I negotiated to take her claims for a week. I was going to also take her mail, but it's fine. I had, actually considered trying to swap someone for the subs the last time. I would take all of their work for the week to avoid them. But I didn't, and I *almost* said no when Kathy offered, because I should be able to do it all, effortlessly and flawlessly. I physically cannot ask for help.

JJD also messaged me with a claims question, but he was flustered and I couldn't figure out what he was asking. I finally just asked for the case # and answered. Somewhat unfortunately related to the above is the idea that anything I'm able to do must be so simple a child could do it. This came up a lot when I was working on SWoRN. As you're aware, I tried very hard to keep my Board members responsibilities to a minimum, but when I did talk with Christina, there was a lot of nuance to nonprofit laws that I'd learned to make SWoRN. I just assumed they were obvious and everyone knew them, since I did. I am supposed to be Effortlessly Flawless at my first try, and if I can do it, anyone can do it. It's not a very healthy mix. We also discussed the main disadvantage of not being in the physical office. Can't just swing by and say hello. I thought about using Zoom to "visit," but Zoom is kind of a dick, so then maybe Teams? So that we can fully discuss the topic and y'know...see each other.

I also checked in on folks, just seeing if Justin, Patrick, etc. needed anything. I didn't hear back from Justin, but I'm far less anxious about that now. Patrick, I double-checked on what time worked for him for Saturday. I'd been going to create a FB Event page for it, but an Event with only 3 people, because the 4th isn't on FB seemed absurd. But these are bassically just calendar reminders for people. Our talk actually got some depth, because I talked about JJD, our winning the Haloween competition for Tweedle-Dee & Dum, and how he's also super into music. Patrick mentioned his brother's influence on his own musical tastes. My brother did have some influence on mine, really just introducing me to Nirvana (all the singles I'd heard were kind of trash) and Live (I don't care, I love them.) But since he's trash, I really stopped paying any attention to what he was listening to. I do recall he was getting into House music and mentioned "Flash" by Green Velvet, though it wasn't until many years later I finally managed to hear it.

Julian called to follow up on his text string. I'd forgotten to respond to him. I finally communicated to him that the statements there calmed my anxiety *tremendously,* and made me very hopeful for an excellent vacation for him, and his growth and healing as a person. He was cooking or something, and Lady Miss Friday was in her closet, so it was kind of the perfect time to clean. Vacuumed (even lifted the bed so I could get all the way under neath), dishes, trash, and that terrifying mountain, Organization. He reinforced that I definitely don't need to make the place a palace for him, which is sweet. I reminded him that my version of "clean" is not really clean, and there's that whole...Game Night thing, as well. People know where they're going, but I thought I should at least make it a nicer hovel.