Patient Destruction

My webcam was still being a dick, though my new one should be here soon. I made a meeting for Zoom with my phone and emailed it to Candace, not realizing I'd done it last night. We talked about Julian's racism, though she's on Team Boundary, and I should tell him not to talk about that stuff around me. But as with my mom's conspiracy theories, if she doesn't tell me I can't address it. I don't just want them to hide it, I want them to not want to say it. And she pointed out that boundary blurring is still emotional abuse. I didn't notice it when I was being emotionally abused, so I appreciate these kinds of clues. No meeting next week, but I think Julian will still be here when she gets back. Presumably, we'll be able to discuss the trip, etc, etc. And she agreed that as long as I keep my fangs sheathed, it's healthy, not petty to email my mom post-conspiracy theory with information debunking it.

I took care of those things that had come in over the weekend, then remembered I'd started on Eservice on Friday, figuring I could move towards doing some of everyone's mail in the mornings. Everyone got kicked out of the network at 3, but by 3:45 I was able to get back in and complete all my work that had come in for tomorrow. I'll take it.

Potmatess (but not Bud Depot) finally had a sale. 6G carts for $100, 6G shatter for $100. *There's* the 4/20 deal I was looking for! Not that I haven't seen these deals before, but they'd been far more scarce. I only saw them once since Bud Depot opened. Sure, it works out to about 16.50 per gram, which is about $5-10 off their normal price, but their normal price on Potmaess is less than half what the market rate is. These things are ordinarily %50-70, sometimes higher. Even though I put a comment that any couch-lock indicas or indica-dominant hybrids would be fine if they were out, they still called about subs. I just repeated that. It's a good thing they called though, because they completely missed both of the deals. Also, I love conversations where we get beyond capitalism. I want a thing, they sell a thing, but no one's trying to take advantage of anyone. Granted, I go to them because they have far and away the best prices to begin with, and I still take full advantage of their deals. But I never try to cheat. Never complain about the service, the product, etc., and even if I did, it wouldn't be with the goal of credit or a discount. I think all businesses should be nonprofit. Mission statements should be legally enforceable, and the first sentence of every mission statement should be "To make the world a better place." If they're Amazon, they want to be everyone's favorite one-stop-shop. Cool, but you're killing your warehouse employees. Being everyone's favorite does not outweigh the lives of employees, in any context. Pay what you can businesses are great as well. Back to the weed, when my order arrived, they came with Bud Depot business cards. I don't really understand this possible mitosis. Jesse said people complain about them all the time, and I have no idea why. He was livid because he'd selected "expedited delivery," maybe even paid more for it, but it still took the same couple hours. That seemed like a really strange feather to break his back, and I think I did tell him that the expedited doesn't actually mean anything - it's always going to take a few hours. Maybe Potmatess is just splitting to quell those complaints.

I saw via email that Sean is throwing a party on June 5. My first thought was that I pretty desperately need to get into some kind of exercise routine. I need to find some video workouts to songs that move me. Or make them. I will happily take the Radio Gaga, even Lady Gaga('s choreographer's) version of Sassy Jazz over nothing. When I'm out of FB Jail, I think I'll put my performance wishlist out to the arts community, see if there are any choreographers who'd like to collaborate. But the more sobering implications behind getting the invite were a close second. I lost a lot of friends over the course of my addiction. No clue correlation or causation for any of them, but given that I so flagrantly OD'd at his parties (among other places) I was surprised and grateful for the potential redemption. And one of the Toms from PS texted me to specifically request my presence. That's nice.

I poked around with my new shatter, but found it more like taffy than peanut brittle. I used my dab tool for way too long before realizing I can just squish however much I want to smoke into a little ball and drop it in. I'm a little slow. I got decently fuzzed, between that and the other half of the rum bottle. Pretty much everything is better under chemical influence. Not all chemicals are for all things, of course, but for example, I loved drunk sex (until I was sober for drunk sex). Beating off stoned is way better than sober. Up there with my highest flights on G (that didn't get charred). On the one hand, why couldn't I have done this instead of falling down the rabbit hole? On the other, I tried, but it was one of those things that I either tried too early (before USB vape pens?) or just one of those things that's extremely obvious to everyone else but confounds me. And even if I had, I'd very likely have still tried GHB as my +1.