Circuitous Solutions

Tim called while I was still bluffing myself about everything I wanted to do today. I agreed to visit, which at least got me out of the house. He didn't mention the birds, so I brought a couple things of veggies anyway. I figured if he mentioned it, we'd go feed them, and if not, I'd just save them for next time. I really hate expectations and the looming chance of failure or disappointment they always present. It's one of the reasons I hate surprises and gifts.

Rather than text him when I got there, I just waited for someone to open the gate. I figured that way it wouldn't be syncopated like last time. Tim was visiting Tami on Jae's boat, and just texted me directions as I went. It seemed patronizing at the time, but I guess it makes sense given that his leg is still wonky. Chatted with Tim, Tami, and Tami's friend for a while before taking Pupple for a walk. I was in a very very strange state of mind. Not quite cranky, but not really social, either. I got to meet one of Pupple's friends, and he seems to be a Symbist like me. Walked up to the marina to give Pupple several treats, then tried to give some to a cat we saw walking around. The cat had a collar and looked fine, but they were giving that distressed meow. But also walking around the rocks hunting. I left after the walk and took great pains to not contribute to Pupple's abandonment issues. It just now occurred to me that his insistence that the whole pack be there is related to his crying when I first got him and had to go to work. I'm a little slow.

I kept vacillating over the birds. See above about expectations and the like. I finally convinced myself to just walk over and see. I almost turned back several times just due to like... Generalized anxiety over it or something. There were lots of people walking pups, but no birds. On the walk back, though, I saw a flock of coots and figured I could just leave the veggies for them. Much to my surprise, they all gathered in a crowd when I got close. I should have taken a pic, really, but I was mostly just intent on getting them fed. #priorities. Some people walking by chuckled at the rando giving groceries to the birds but like... I've had worse hobbies.

I meant to give my place a good cleaning when I got home, but Lady Miss Friday wanted to lay against me under the covers instead so I did that. It's alternately flattering and worrisome. When she got up I sort of fumbled for what I had the energy to do. I took out the recycling and put away a couple dishes before I ran out of energy. It's something. I thought about buying booze, but took the edible that came with my last order instead. I meant to just use it to supplement my smoking, but I took the whole 500 in frustration over not getting "there." Not nothing, but not much, either. Tried to watch a foreign fantasy drama, but couldn't pay attention well enough for the subtitles. It was at least nice to vacation to the living room.