Lukewarm Realizations

I was surprised when I woke up with almost no hangover and over half the handle of wine still there. To reward myself, I drank the other half. Colleen was really touched by my short playlist, and I was grateful I usually manage to stay on the "quirky" side of the Weird Spectrum. I had a text from Julian notifying me that Border Patrol had declined to proceed with the interview process.

I managed to stay fairly productive, really, as in spite of identifying again with Britney's cameo in Will & Grace, I figured out how to forward ports again, but then when I looked, they weren't open, so I'm still missing something in the equation. Because I really like my character Escapæ, I settled on making Lilith for solo games, and I'll play Escape when/if I ever figure out the multi-player. Julian called, and on investigation, it turned out him owning up to smoking weed out here was the block. I'll take "Questions You Kind of Wish You Hadn't Asked" for %500, Alex. He was sort of defeatist about it, like him not getting this meant he was doomed to a career of pumping gas. Only a Mostly Dead industry. I've been there, actually. Placing Herzogian hope on something so crazy, it might just work! But is really so unlikely it's an asymptote to impossible. I pushed again for him to go to school, and had rational, honest answers to all the potential problems with it. I saw Tim messaging me, and I thought the conversation was at a good stopping place, so I swapped over. Tim and my's conversation, among other discussions, brought up that I can't be anywhere near the level of disciplinarian that Julian needs in his life, and half-joked that he would just feed me the lines a la Cyrano and we could help Julian together. I'm Goal Oriented, so....

Julian asked me to call him as soon as I was done, but the subsequent conversation seemed to be quietly flailing. Like....it could've been that he was just bored and trying to shift the responsibility for the boredom onto me, or it could be that he didn't want to be alone because some grievous wound he's had for ages finally registered. Like the Black Knight suddenly saying "AAAAH MY ARMS AND LEGS WHAT THE FUCK!!!" but y'know....subtle. Unfortunately, I am nowhere near qualified to interrogate that out of anyone, so I eventually let the conversation dissolve. I just read back through the first part of this entry and I'm not quite as lost as I thought. I think.

I finally hit the next level up in that Hawk advertisement game and hoped it would trigger whatever cookie it sends and send my in-game payment. Strangely, I was kind of relieved they didn't. That game is preying on nostalgia and the people holding on because it once was good, or they've invested so much time already, it would be so gauche to have spent all that time and have nothing to show for it. So fuck 'em. It's not like Shmups are rare. Suing them, even just as an interjection, is the last thing I want to do, but it's still on my list.

I kept thinking about running over and picking up more wine, but I guess you could call it playing the tape out. I thought of all the calories, indigestion/vomiting, the hangovers, the frustration at lacking the self-control to moderate reenacted over and over...I managed to not go, so yay me.