Foresight of Hindsight

NOAs for Din in the morning...since Kathy didn't respond when I declined to take the day off, I almost felt like I was racing the clock to get them done before she got there. I mean...there are worse ways to motivate yourself. It took me way too long, but I was very happy with my job for the day. I cleared out all the mail I'd been keeping around as a reminder for myself, taking action where appropriate, and really got to dig into claims by the afternoon. Jill actually sent me an email about how fast I was working through them. The only thing I didn't get around to was one of the day's worth of NOAs.

I chatted some with Nizar and some with Hugo. Nizar might be able to get out of the military by February, which would be stellar. Hugo talked some about his reasons for looking forward to being unemployed. Like everyone, he hates having a job that he has no passion for, so he's going to take some time to work on writing. I talked some about my own goals for next year. On Meyers-Briggs, the only one I've been consistently is Judging. Hilarious, but the only thing I really know about J's is that we always need to working towards something. Irons in the fire and the like. So this next year I want to find out if my new religion is feasible, start my AOC Shade Twitter, maybe learn to be a Real Attorney. Going back to that discussion I had with myself way back when I decided to swap Psychology for Dance, no, IDGAF how much money I make, don't need a big house, etc. etc. etc., but the more money I make, the more I can help others.

I thought I got a decent amount of sleep, but I was pretty exhausted all day. I saw Groupon had one of those "Lord/Lady" Deals, and it was $10 to buy a legal title for Lady Miss Friday, and one for myself, while I was there. I'll still have to pay shipping, but I don't imagine it'll be extravagant. As hilarious and absurd as it would be to have her technically be "Lady Lady Miss Friday," I'm satisfied having her name/title be official. I also ordered (supposedly) 60 lbs of paper for The Girls, and started looking at wooden mazes I can put in Mouse Kingdom's basement to keep Merryweather happy. I'm goal oriented.

Julian video called me, and despite some increasing technical issues with my phone, we made it work. It was raining out there, and his mum was disappointed because they'd spent like $65 on fireworks. Julian burnt his hand cooking dinner, but it was only later he even agreed to put it in water, much less hold onto like....a cold pack or something. We talked some about us, and we revisited the possibility of us getting back together. I obviously don't want him making major life decisions with that as a goal, but on a more personal level, I think about all my relationships, how I've helped my partners, and how if I'd been Lucky in Love previously, I wouldn't have been able to help the ones that came after. This is that kind of predictive Sliding Doors anxiety that drove me insane choosing an undergrad school. I'm doing what I can to minimize the damage here.

I saw a lot of posts from Rocky folks with AMAs, and it only took me a second to remember what that even means. Naturally, I kept with music, asking folk's favorite musical act, composer/producer, and lyricist. I also saw a lot of posts asking for one good thing that happened. The thing that stands out the most to me isn't completing rehab (I count that as a last year thing, since I'm pretty sure it started last year). It's not reconnecting with Colleen. It's not even going through all of this and managing to land back on Cleveland Ave. It's finally coming to the tentative conclusion that Lady Miss Friday likes me. Further delving into that thought process will come later, but for now, I was very very content.

I reached out to a few people who seemed to be having a rough go. Some were just drunk and depressed, some had a problem for every solution, but it's personal growth that I didn't scream at myself for not "fixing" it. Julian and I were on the phone for a little over 4 hours, though it at least got me past that 9pm hump, and I was actually pleased to see so many friends sharing memes about it. I poured the last of the tequila but didn't finish all of it. It fucks with my indigestion, and now I'm right back to where I was in trying to decide what to do with booze in general again. My kingdom for a safe, effective, recreational drug. Lost in my head, I opted not to take my sleeping pills. I think it was something about fear of building tolerance...and of course wanting to save some for occasional recreational use. I don't remember what time I finally crashed, but as always, I was perfectly content in my cave next to Lady Miss Friday.