Lazy Saturday

I woke up around 4, but didn't feel hungover.....I did vomit several times later that morning, but it was completely clear again, and my tummy was kind of fucked up all day. I beat off twice, but didn't film either. I've got enough vids that even if I take a little time to try to slim down, I can keep up posting for a bit. I actually considered dosing again, since I was so thin then. I know.

I did, at least, manage to clean some, work out, cook up another pan of soy curls, and even eat some towards the evening. Not that I had any friends in my last apartment complexes, but as I was checking my mail, one of the neighbors made a joke about her partner stalking the mail man. It felt good to connect. I spent most of the afternoon alternating between watching TV and playing video games in bed with Lady Miss Friday.

Jacob messaged me in the evening, still wanting to get together. For me to visit him, or to let him stay with me. I...guess? I guess it's worth seeing what's there. Right? A long time ago, when I first started suspecting there might be some relationship dysfunctions in my family, I wondered what damage that would inflict on my relationships. It feels like looking at a puzzle, but then going blind or developing cataracts or something. I've got this vague sense about the pieces and the voids, but I'm just stumbling through.

I managed to not drink at all, which surprised even me. Just as I was laying down, Julian texted, asking if he should just go straight. I counseled him as best I could, and then he called. He kept interrupting me, and didn't even remember the name of RHPS or FHA, or almost any other details, but was somewhat jokingly upset with my lack of sense of time. I almost decided to just stay up, drinking and talking to him, but finally tapped out around 1:30.