Actions & Words

It was still dark when my eyes snapped open. 4am. Put on my jammies, tried to go back to sleep. Nothing. Hopped online - the guy from last night was on again. Since I'd spent so much time getting cleaned up earlier, I figured I would be ready in a snap. Nope. Wasn't even 100% sure of myself when he finally got there around 5:40, but it didn't matter because he just laid on my bed and jacked off while I rimmed him. Oh...thanks..no, nothing for me. He did keep massaging my arms and legs, and might have been a little freaked by my arm. He asked about my chest scars after, but we left it at "honey badger." Hopped back online after he left, but just jerked off. As much as sleep was evading me, I didn't want to get out of bed or go to work, but I did.

Tim texted me in the morning - he hoped I was better than I seemed to be the night before. Oh, and his phone was about to be shut off, but he could pay me back on the 30th, if I was willing to loan him another $130. Tim is not my boyfriend, I need to stop treating him as such, and I've loaned him far more than any other friend, excluding Aimee, who borrowed through FHA. The work day was very busy in the first half, but slowed down later, which was a nice change. With Sydney coming up, I need to reclaim my sense of self. Before this recent spate of Timbo got me all dizzy, I was on top of the world. I was sexually active, and emotionally connected with my tricks. I was on track for some sort of career I could be proud of. I was happy, and confident, and even powerful. Now I'm back to pop songs singing to me and the like.

I wanted to go out. I never heard from any of my friends, but that's never stopped me before. Around 9-10, my stomach started freaking out. I have no clue why, since I hadn't eaten anything out of the ordinary. Was still considering going out, and then someone on Facebook mentioned it was hailing. Slept instead.